Quotes / Rock Bottom

"Where do we go?
Where do we go?
Where do we go-o-o from here?"

Mario: Take it easy, Luigi. Things could be worse.
Luigi: We're trapped in a dungeon about to be executed! How could things be any worse?!
Mario: Well, for one thing, the ceiling could lower, until it flattens us like a pizza.
[cue Descending Ceiling]
Toad: Very uncool, dudes. The ceiling is lowering!
Mario: (calmly) Or the room could fill with water until we all drown like rats.
[Water starts flooding in]
Princess Toadstool: We gotta get outta here!
Mario: Hey, I could think of another way things could be worse!
Luigi: (covering Mario's mouth) Mario, please! Don't say another word!
The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, "King Mario of Cramalot"

"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."

Eli Wallace: Well, this couldn't get much worse.
Nicholas Rush: I'm afraid that's a failure of imagination.

Zexion: Huh? Namine? Sho is a werepire and is attacking you? And Axel doesn't care that you're all gonna get ripped to shreds and eaten. Well at least it can't get any worse.
[Cut to two werepires appearing in front of Namine.]
Namine: Oh, you dickhead!

"Things can't possibly get any worse! (runs into Butch and Woim wearing just underwear) Oh, then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"
Alfalfa, The Little Rascals

Once you hit rock bottom, grab a shovel and dig.
— Anon

Deborah: Then how about if you come up with something that does make sense? And, like, right now? Because I don't see how this could get much worse.
Dexter (in his head): If life teaches us anything, it is to flinch away and role under the furniture whenever anyone is foolish enough to utter those fell words. And sure enough, the dreadful syllables were merely out of Deborah's mouth when the phone on her desk buzzed for her attention, and some small and rather nasty voice whispered in my ear that this would be a great time to wedge myself under the desk in the foetal position.

"What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer."

"We currently have the longest playoff drought in the league. We were horrible for 90% of our existence. The greatest player in team history is a sociopathic murderer who will likely spend the rest of his life in prison. An 80s rock star is actively trying to relocate the team to Fucking Toronto."
—"Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills"

Kate doesnít have a TV show anymore, so people canít scream:


Kate doesnít have a job at Coupon Cabin anymore, so people canít scream:


And Kateís team of nannies probably take care of her kids most of the time, so people canít really scream:


So what are we supposed to say? "PUSH HER OFF THE PLANET"?! Yeah, I like that one the best.

"OK, so here we are at Day One, with everyone trying to figure out how to make this dead inside former pop diva come to life on a stage in a town that has gifted the world with 300,000 performances of Wayne Newton doing 'Danke Schoen.' Holy crap. These guys would have better luck getting Fiona Apple to duet onstage in a song about abortion rights with Sarah Palin in front of a room filled with Baptist preachers."
Jezebel, "Britney Spears' Delusional 'Documentary' is a Hot, Glittery Mess"

Vorenus: This isn't the army, brother. We here — we're pimps, knifemen, thieves. You sure you're sunk so low?
Mascius: I walked here from Capua. I slept in ditches. And when I get here, they say a black-hearted villain has taken over the Aventine college. He's in league with the gods below, they say. And his name is Lucius Vorenus. Well I thought to myself, "Mascius, old boy, your luck has changed.".

"And I thought it couldn't get any worse than having to pick up Misato's dry cleaning for her. Honestly, could this day possibly get any worse?"

No matter how bad your day gets, one should never ponder if things could get any worse. Because fate simply loves a challenge, and fate never fails to deliver.

Sokka: Things couldn't get much worse.
(giant serpent pops out of the sea)
Sokka: The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn't it?
Toph: You make it too easy!

I just watched my best friend die in agony. My day can't get any worse.
The Doctor Doctor Who, "Heaven Sent"note