Quotes / Rasputinian Death

Again? Don't you EVER die?!
Judith, Tales of Vesperia

In this battle, he was slashed and stabbed 267 times. His body was hit by no less than 152 bullets. And as for cannonballs...he was hit by 46 cannonballs.
— The death of Whitebeard, One Piece

He wouldn't die! He is the devil! I tried to kill him, but he wouldn't die!
Dr. Boris Zargo, Rasputin: The Mad Monk

"Unlike my colleagues, I have a tendency to stay alive. Since this morning, I've been bitten, shot, bombed, electrocuted, almost drowned, almost fallen to my death, and strangled. Rasputin wasn't so lucky! But, here I am, exposing myself to radiation. Why not? Let's add that to the list. Maybe I can get burned, stabbed, and poisoned before the day is done."

"When I got to the top of the building, I found that the hurricane had knocked down some bricks off the top. So I rigged up a beam, with a pulley, at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks. When I had fixed the building, there was a lot of bricks left over. I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom and then went up and filled the barrel with the extra bricks. Then, I went to the bottom and cast off the line.
Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was, and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground. I decided to hang on. Halfway up, I met the barrel coming down, and received a severe blow on the shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley. When the barrel hit the ground, it burst its bottom, allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again at high speed.
Halfway down, I met the barrel coming up, and received severe injury to my shins. When I hit the ground, I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges. At this point, I must have lost my presence of mind, because I let go the line. The barrel then came down, giving me a very heavy blow and putting me in hospital. I respectfully request sick leave."
Gerard Hoffnung, The Bricklayer

"To kill a Homunculus, all (the heroes) need to do is FIGHT IT REALLY REALLY HARD AND EVENTUALLY IT WILL JUST DIE! Lame."
Brikhaus, reviewing Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

"Grigori Efimovich Rasputin. Occult advisor to the Romanovs. In 1916, at a dinner in his honor, he was poisoned, shot, stabbed, clubbed, castrated, and finally drowned. And yet, we saw him here tonight."
—Trevor Bruttenholm, Hellboy

"I've imagined killing you a thousand different ways, but this... this is better than any of them. Edward... thank you!"
Vlad Tepes to Edward Cullins after the latter was burned up from the inside by dragon blood, dismembered by falling through a window and an amateur chainsaw juggling competition (with one chainsaw going right up his ass) and disssolving in a pool of holy water. But before Vlad stabbed him in the head and pissed on his skull. Fafnir The Dragon

Resurrection Joe was a legend in his own time and in his own death. He was born Joseph Blythe. He was a bad seed. He was the baddest Johnny in the apple cart. He blasphemed. He stole. He fought. He killed. He did things that the good citizens had to write new laws against. Joe refused every point of etiquette and rule, including dying. When the judge sentenced Joe to death by hanging, he dangled, but kicked for three days. When they shot him, he woke up. The records are blank after this point, as the town tried all manner of unlawful execution techniques. When Joe finally seemed to succumb, they took no chances. They dismembered his body and scattered the parts. But Joe lived on in story and rhyme. His rancid laughter still haunts Solomon Island.
The Buzzing, The Secret World