Quotes: Random Events Plot

"The plot is so flimsy it's painful, like a man with no bones in his arms trying to serve you coffee... the plot is like a recent car accident victim: staggering back and forth with bits of windscreen in its face for a while before finally collapsing and bleeding out into a roadside ditch."

"This pay-per-view makes me feel like a housecat trying to catch a laser-pointer dot."
Brandon Stroud on WCW Uncensored '96

"There are so many holes in it, I think of the Battle of the Bulge, comparably, as flatter than a Kansas plain. Not the Smallville Kansas ones, of course, which teem with mountains and have a waterfront."

"In order to 'rehabilitate' him, Novicorp transplants his mind into a baboon (don't ask), but things go haywire and Fingal ends up in the central computer, where he creates his own virtual reality simulation of Casablanca to pass the time while he destroys much of the world. Yes, he's 'the hero'...And if you ever wondered what Humphrey Bogart would have been like if he were Puerto Rican, your dreams are about to come true."

Chris: Jet’s lie detector is one of my favorite little bits about this movie, if only because it shouts “LIAR!” in a very accusatory robot voice.
Matt: It’s weird how some arbitrary things work and others don’t. “Jet Girl has a lie detector just because she’s smart and she does” is fine, but “the girls go to this junk store in [a] tank because they feel like it” is a head-scratcher.
Chris: On one level, you have to respect how much they’re throwing at the wall, but there’s a huge gap between what sticks and what doesn’t.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Tank Girl

"You could make trading cards out of the number of pointless scenes from this movie."