Quotes: Random Events Plot

"The plot is so flimsy it's painful, like a man with no bones in his arms trying to serve you coffee... the plot is like a recent car accident victim: staggering back and forth with bits of windscreen in its face for a while before finally collapsing and bleeding out into a roadside ditch."

"This pay-per-view makes me feel like a housecat trying to catch a laser-pointer dot."
Brandon Stroud on WCW Uncensored '96

"There are so many holes in it, I think of the Battle of the Bulge, comparably, as flatter than a Kansas plain. Not the Smallville Kansas ones, of course, which teem with mountains and have a waterfront."

"...Whithouse’s stories have an unfortunate tendency to collapse into “x in a y” formulations, but never before has he managed anything quite so spectacularly pointless as the inexplicably empty fake Russian village. I can only assume it was selected because someone realized that an abandoned generic village and an underwater base almost completely lacking in interesting visual design was going to add up to the least visually engaging episode ever and so decided to throw some Soviet propaganda posters around. Because why not."

"In order to 'rehabilitate' him, Novicorp transplants his mind into a baboon (don't ask), but things go haywire and Fingal ends up in the central computer, where he creates his own virtual reality simulation of Casablanca to pass the time while he destroys much of the world. Yes, he's 'the hero'... And if you ever wondered what Humphrey Bogart would have been like if he were Puerto Rican, your dreams are about to come true."

"The primary problem with the film is that it doesn’t really have a plot. It’s just plot tangents built upon plot tangents. Bond begins investigating Zorin’s company, then his breeding stables, takes a brief timeout to seduce a Russian agent, and then saves Silicon Valley...Unfortunately, we spend an hour investigating horses instead of setting up an interesting dynamic."

Chris: Jet’s lie detector is one of my favorite little bits about this movie, if only because it shouts “LIAR!” in a very accusatory robot voice.
Matt: It’s weird how some arbitrary things work and others don’t. “Jet Girl has a lie detector just because she’s smart and she does” is fine, but “the girls go to this junk store in [a] tank because they feel like it” is a head-scratcher.
Chris: On one level, you have to respect how much they’re throwing at the wall, but there’s a huge gap between what sticks and what doesn’t.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Tank Girl

"You could make trading cards out of the number of pointless scenes from this movie."

""Even if you are naturally funny and have ideas and a point of view, you still need to learn some skills. All art needs structure. Structure helps you put your ideas in an effective order. It gives you a hierarchy: Your story needs a main purpose, and all the gags and bits in the story should fit basically into the story. Your details should hang neatly on the major points and help emphasize them. You don't want to get lost in tangents that confuse the audience. You don't want to have your best ideas and jokes in the first 2 minutes and then have the rest of the cartoon be an anticlimax. (This happened in my cartoon "Black Hole". It had funny ideas and gags, but the structure was faulty and didn't live up to its setup.) With the aid of logical structure you can have your cartoon build and move inexorably forward and keep your audience on the edge of their seats."