Quotes / List of Transgressions

Phil: I want to know what excuse you have for pulling such a stupid stunt!

Carlton: We needed the money.

Phil: For what? And I want the truth!

Will: Ight, it's like this, Uncle Phil. See... Carlton got this inside tip on a stock.

Phil: Federal offense. Go on.

Will: Well... t-then... we pawned Aunt Viv's bracelet to get the money for the stock.

Phil: Grand larceny. Impressive.

Will: And... then we lost the money, so we had to strip to get the bracelet back.

Phil: That would be indecent exposure. Is there more?

Carlton: I'm afraid so, Dad. We never got the clasp fixed on Mom's bracelet.

— The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, "Striptease for Two" ^note "I guess this probably ain't the best time to tell him we ran over the mailbox."

Yemma: Says here your name's Cell and you're... ...six...?
Cell: Yeah, I'm an early bloomer.
Yemma: And you died to an energy blast from an eleven-year-old...?
Cell: Not my fault kids' fights on the playground are so violent nowadays!
Yemma: Right, right. Well, let's take a look at your sins and- (starts reading) ...oh... ...oh! Aw geez! And this is just your... first form...?
Cell: What can I tell ya? I'm a thirsty bitch!
Yemma: Yeeeeep. This is a Code Orange.

— HFIL Episode 1

"The military regime banned: Long hair, miniskirts, Sophocles, Tolstoy, Euripides, Russian-style toasts, strikes, Aristophanes, Ionesco, Sartre, Albee, Pinter, freedom of the press, sociology, Beckett, Dostoyevsky, modern music, pop music, new math, and the letter Z, which means HE LIVES in Ancient Greek."

— Ending Narration, Z

Clerk: Simony of ecclesiastical law, simony of divine law, nicolaism, thaumaturgy, incontinence, drunkenness, debauchery, sodomy, disturbing the peace, brawling, forgery and use of forgeries...
Monk: ENOUGH! The mere listing of your turpitudes is blasphemy in and of itself!

— Seven Missionaries (the clerk was about halfway down the list when he stopped)

Natella: Iqbal must have a weakness. A Fatal Flaw we can exploit?
Bibby: Well, let's see. Pride...
Natella: That's good.
Bibby: Envy, sloth, gluttony, coveting his neighbor's ox, people smuggling, mortgage fraud, animal experimentation, animal experimentation videos—
Natella: Let's concentrate on pride. I have an idea.

— Bromwell High, "Goodbye Mr. Crisps"

Yu: Yoshino Somei, infamous tomb robber and pain-in-the-ass. Sixteen relics totally destroyed, twenty-nine relics rendered unusable, forty-five relics escalated to international incidents and declared untouchable indefinitely. She's worse than an entire army of incompetent soldiers.

Yoshino: Hey! You don't have to make it sound that horrible!

— Spriggan, "The Forgotten Kingdom"

Jack: Why were you in prison in the first place?
The Doctor: Evading the Judoon. Twice at once. Then once I was in, they took seven thousand other offences into consideration.
Jack: [chuckles] They stopped at seven?

— Doctor Who "Revolution of the Daleks"

"You're the courier who's caused so much trouble for my Legion, and yet you dare come before me. Vulpes Inculta, the best of my frumentarii, is dead^note If the Courier has previously killed Vulpes Inculta. All the bribes I sent to the Omertas ended up buying me nothing^note If the Courier finished the "How Little We Know" quest helping Cachino kill Nero and Big Sal. The Great Khans aren't exactly clamoring to fight for my Legion now^note If the Courier finished the "Oh My Papa" quest convincing Papa Khan to sever ties with Caesar's Legion. The garrison I established at Nelson has been wiped out^note If the Courier has previously killed Dead Sea in Nelson. Years of meticulous scheming to place a mole at Camp McCarran - wasted^note If the Courier finished the "I Put a Spell On You" quest siding with the New California Republic. The Kings of Freeside are cooperating with the NCR now, which frees up soldiers to defend the dam^note If the Courier finished the "King's Gambit" quest brokering peace between the Kings and the NCR. You even disrupted a promising weapons deal with the Van Graffs^note If the Courier finished the "Birds of a Feather" quest. Is it any wonder my Legion has so little love for you? So tell me this, because I really want to know. I am feared - with good reason. But you - of all people - dare to come here and stand before me, the mighty Caesar. What were you thinking?"

— Caesar, Fallout: New Vegas

"You faked your own death, you stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power, stranded him on Earth... to die, releasing the Goddess of Death. Have I said enough, or do you want me to go further back than the past two days?"

— Thor, Thor: Ragnarok

Dr. Rodriquez: Governor Rodger Maxwell was arrested by the Military for, and I quote: Human Trafficking, Child Trafficking, Serial Murder, Domestic Terrorism, Endangerment of Children, first-degree manslaughter, Kidnapping, Money Laundering, Embezzlement, Fraud, and the list goes on for a country mile, so to save myself from reading a literal novel worth of crimes, I'll cut it short there.

— All For Luz, Chapter 13

"And he's the father of my son! And he's who shot JFK! And he's a werewolf!"

— Mickey Johnstone, "An incomplete guide to Blood Brothers"

"It is a terrible, ponderous chain you are making, Scrooge."

— The Auditor, quoting A Christmas Carol, Hellraiser: Judgement

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