Quotes: Like You Would Really Do It

Some Hospital in D.C.
EMT: Ma'am? Did someone order an ambulance for The Littlest Cancer Patient?
LUCY: OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU.
HEARTSTRING #79: *does not tug*
SCREENWRITERS: What?
AUDIENCE: Oh, whatever. Like you were going to kill off The Littlest Cancer Patient.
The Day After Tomorrow review in Movies in 15 Minutes, by Cleolinda Jones

''The best thing about Babylon 5 was that it could be a total bastard sometimes. Beloved characters died unfair deaths (who remembers Marcus Cole? I do), Unrequited Love often stayed that way (Lennier and Delenn, anyone?), good was not always rewarded, and evil sometimes went unpunished. That’s why the end of “Z’ha’dum” worked so well — I honestly believed that JMS was fully capable of allowing his protagonist to become a grease spot at the bottom of a crater, even with two years left in the vaunted five-year plan. Compare that cliffhanger to Star Trek: The Next Generation’s “The Best Of Both Worlds”: sure, Picard had been Borgerized, and it sucked, but I never believed for one minute that the writers would let him stay that way, because it would shake up the series too much. Babylon 5, on the other hand, had already had so many they’re-not-allowed-to-do-that-are-they? moments that Sheridan’s untimely death seemed like a very real possibility, whereas we never thought Picard was really in jeopardy.

Gwen Stacy isn't dead — she's only sleeping,
And Elektra isn't evil or insane.
And those bastards in the Pentagon can't really kill Sue Dibny,
No more than they could kill off Lois Lane.
Four-Color Love Story by the Metasciences

Chester A. Bum: I knew it, you didn't have the balls!
Kermit the Frog (mimicked by Bum): None of us do, we're Muppets!

"The audience of today knows in advance, and absolutely, that the hero is not going to be killed by the villain, that the heroine is going to marry no one other than the hero, and that the United States Marines are certain to arrive on the scene before the bomb goes off."
George Jean Nathan

''I mean, you didn't really think we'd kill off Brian, did you? Jesus, we'd have to be fucking high."
Seth MacFarlane, after the airing of "Christmas Guy" which brought back Brian Griffin from the dead

"So, as the Plot Hole gets bigger — both literally and metaphorically — the critics watch as their doom comes closer." (clip of the critics reminiscing about their first reviews) "Oh yeah, I'm totally convinced they're not gonna make it. Channel Awesome will fire all of them in one swoop just for shits and giggles, and yet they stilll show up to shoot their finales at the same time. Onward, poorly deceiving soldiers."