"Alright, motherfuckers. In times like this, religion is often forgotten, so I'm gonna remind you of how awesome Jesus is. First off, his power level is fucking 9,001. THAT IS OVER 9 THOUSAND! Show some respect for that. He'd kick all your asses. Second, he dares to have a Mexican name despite the fact that he is not Mexican. Only the greats do that. Third, he could conjure water and self-rez when his group wiped for the fifth fucking time that night so no one had to run back. That's a fucking time-saver right there! And finally, he is a great supporter of cannibalism. So much so that he actually ENCOURAGES people to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Any questions?"
—taken from a Gaia Online roleplay post
"Action Jesus! Manger sold separately."
Crow T. Robot MST3K "Santa Claus"
''"Kung-Fu Action Jesus! He's fighting the bad guys and making them pay, with Magic Kung Fu, he'll save the day! It's Kung Fu Action Jesus!"
"I have conquered the world."
[Being held up by two Iraqi soldiers]
"My children, you should know something.
Jesus, in the episode Red Sleigh Down, South Park
"This summer, let he who is without sin...kick the first ass."
SUPER JESUS: Where is your Satan now!?"
—Fauxtivational Poster using the page pic.
"Jesus Christ... Superstar... burning 'round the corner on a Yamaha"
— Parody of Jesus Christ Superstar
There are three of him, and there's only one of you (and Jesus can fly)
He can cure a blind man, you can't cure the flu
Jesus is coming, and he is pissed!
— Bill Robinson, Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive
"Imagine if Jesus knew kung-fu; that's what everybody is dealing with."
— John Morrison, ECW on Sci-Fi