"Hello, I'm Gordon Ramsay! This Halloween, excited young children will come to your door bags open. Now, you have a choice: you can give them something good to eat... or you can give them SMARTIES. [eats one and spits it out] Seriously, the perfect combination of aspirin and tums! Smarties are for fucking dummies! CIRCUS PEANUTS. Look at it! How fucking sad are they? You know what circus peanuts are? Clown shit! Enjoy! CANDY CORN. Come on, it's not candy, it's not corn, it's earwax formed in the shape of a rotten tooth! Seriously? APPLES. Do I look like a fucking teacher mate? Let me give you a big lesson, go buy some proper fucking candy! PENNIES. IN 2016 YOU'RE STILL GIVING OUT FUCKING PENNIES!? FUCK OFF! [throws a bowl of pennies at the camera]"
Trick or treaters: Trick or treat!
Stuart, in a Santa costume: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Candy canes and Grumbel's sale flyers for everyone! Ho ho ho! Remember to tell your parents if they're not shopping early, they're shopping late! Ho ho ho!
"What is this crap?! What are you a dentist? Or a hippie? Or some kind of hippie dentist?"
— Strong Bad after getting an apple, Homestar Runner, The House that Gave Sucky Treats
