Quotes / Genius Ditz

Sponge Bob: Patrick, your genius is showing!
Patrick: [covers his crotch] Where?!?!

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle Woods: What, like it's hard?

"I once flushed a sock down the toilet on accident. I wear my clothes backwards a lot. I have never yet figured out how much metal chicken can be shoved in the back on a car safely. The fields in which I am ruthlessly competent are very very few, and the ones in which I am inept are vast beyond measure."

Homestar Runner: Awash with flavor!
Strong Sad: Uh, okay Homestar. Then what's two plus two?
Homestar Runner: Well, the force between any two charges is equal to the absolute value of the multiple of the charges divided by 4 pi times the vacuum permittivity times the distance squared between the two charges.
Strong Sad: No, no, no, stupid! That's Coulomb's law.
Homestar Runner: Oh, right, sorry! Two plus two? That's easy. Twenty-two.

"How can someone be so brilliant in the lab and so clueless everywhere else...?"
Fourier, regarding her sister Pascal in Tales of Graces

"How is it possible for one brain to function so well, and at the very same time be so very, very, broken?"
Lucas on Ethan, Ctrl+Alt+Del

"So Barney feels guilty for Fred and, because he's such a good friend, decides to switch the exams around. So of course now Fred is mistaken for the smartest man in the group because he apparently scored the highest on the test, which is already kind of weird. Barney was the smartest guy there? Really? [cut to a photo of a cartoon Barney next to a picture of Albert Einstein] Huh, who knew?"

"Well... They're smart doctors. They're just not smart people."
Willis, Awful Hospital