Quotes / Footy Rules

Jonas: Don't you mean "tomayto?"
Steve: No, I meant "tomahto". Don't forget who invented the language.
Jonas: Yeah, but you also invented soccer, and you're not too good at that anymore.
Steve: Woah, woah. Hang on. We did not invent soccer.
Jonas: No?
Steve: We invented football.
Jonas: You mean the little girl's game where you guys kick around a little white ball?
Steve: Yeah.
Jonas: That, my friend, is not football.
Steve: OK. Our football is a game where you actually get to kick a ball. With your feet. Your football, you pretty much use your hands all the time. I mean, what's that about? Was handball already used for something else?
lonelygirl15, "LA To LDN".

When 7-year-olds play soccer they go, "The ball!" phwew, and then the ball gets kicked over there and they go, "The ball!" And I believe what has happened is in their chase for the story they forgot their positions on the field and they just go, wink, and they run around in a little clump.
Jon Stewart on media coverage of presidential electoral politics.