Quotes: Dual Wielding

Ranger: Behold! For as a ranger, I possess the rare and enviable Dual-Wield! (pulls out a second bow) Have you a sense of the sudden and violent brevity of your future?
Sarda: That's... This is what you're going with? Dual-wield.
Ranger: Moreover! As a ranger/ranger, I can dual-wield my dual-wield! (pulls out two more bows)
Sarda: What.
Ranger: Behold! The mythical art of quad-wielding and its dodecarrow storm!
Sarda: How are you holding those?
Ranger: It's not easy. Really hurts the neck.

Lord Lefford: I saw that great hairy one today, the one who insisted that he must have two battle-axes, the heavy black steel ones with twin crescent blades.
Tyrion: Shagga likes to kill with either hand.
Lord Lefford: He still had that wood-axe of his strapped to his back.
Tyrion: Shagga is of the opinion that three axes are even better than two.

"Drizzt's most endearing characteristic is that he ponces around using two scimitars — and is still alive. (...) Historically, the various tradeoffs among Damage, Defense, Agility, Cost and Convenience have been resolved in favor of using one weapon at a time."

"If I were to pick up this cowering-plate, I would have to put down my second sword," a Scotsman thinks. "And surely that is madness."
— The Team Fortress 2 blog, on a Scotsman's thoughts on shields.

"Oh come on, is that even legal?"
Sam Flynn (upon seeing Rinzler spitting his disc into two), TRON: Legacy

"You make a LEFT HANDED REMOTE GHOST GAUNTLET to complete the pair. BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE WHY THE HELL NOT."
John Egbert, Homestuck

Future Ash: We're both good guys here!
Past Ash: Good, bad... I'm the guy with both chainsaws!
Army of Darkness: Ashes 2 Ashes

Black Polnareff: And soon, you'll fall deeper into despair... Because I'm gonna add serious insult to injury!
(Silver Chariot unsheathes the Anubis sword, and he duel-wields the rapier and the Anubis sword.)
Black Polnareff: Silver Chariot plus Anubis plus Polnareff, the master of the sword! Three together produce the wisdom of me...?
(Jotaro is lying on the ground.)
Jotaro: You gotta be kidding!
Black Polnareff: That "you gotta be kidding" will become "I'm screwed!"
(Silver Chariot attacks Jotaro with both swords.)