Sheldon: So what play are we doing for school?
Emily: (looking at script) "Lion King Jr."
Sheldon: Wait, like the DISNEY movie Lion King?
Emily: Yeah, this is a thing now. Disney licenses out the script, the music, even ready-to-go costumes and sets... and the school just writes one big check. So kids get to relive one more loop of pop culture they've seen on a screen, and Disney gets one more payday.
Sheldon: Childhood is like living in an industrial-age company town... where every aspect of our day is owned by Disney.
Emily: Some accept it easier than others.
Dante: (holding up a stuffed lion) WOO!!! LION KING.
Emily: (looking at script) "Lion King Jr."
Sheldon: Wait, like the DISNEY movie Lion King?
Emily: Yeah, this is a thing now. Disney licenses out the script, the music, even ready-to-go costumes and sets... and the school just writes one big check. So kids get to relive one more loop of pop culture they've seen on a screen, and Disney gets one more payday.
Sheldon: Childhood is like living in an industrial-age company town... where every aspect of our day is owned by Disney.
Emily: Some accept it easier than others.
Dante: (holding up a stuffed lion) WOO!!! LION KING.
— Sheldon
But Pixar films tend to be a bit too intricate and high-concept for this format. Toy Story and Monsters, Inc. are levels, but aren't both of those tangentially set in the real world? Last I checked, reality isn't a subsidiary of the Disney Corporation. Not yet, anyway; give them a few more years.
— Yahtzee Croshaw's review of Kingdom Hearts III
One moment I really enjoyed last week was the return of Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report. You know who didn't enjoy it so much? Corporate lawyers. Because— and this is true— immediately after that show, CBS's top lawyer was contacted by the top lawyer of another company to say that the character "Stephen Colbert" was their intellectual property. Which is surprising, because I never really considered that guy much of an intellectual. So it is with a heavy heart that I announce that the character of "Stephen Colbert," host of The Colbert Report, will never be seen again.
[Audience starts booing]
Listen, I feel the same way, but what can I do? The lawyers have spoken; I cannot reasonably argue that I own my face or name!
[Audience starts booing]
Listen, I feel the same way, but what can I do? The lawyers have spoken; I cannot reasonably argue that I own my face or name!
Homer: Those suck! They're worse than nothing! I could write way better songs.
Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural. Those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [groans]
Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [groans in a higher pitch.]
Lawyer: That's better.
Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural. Those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [groans]
Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [groans in a higher pitch.]
Lawyer: That's better.
Yeah, did you forget that Disney own The Simpsons? I forget that at least once every two days.
J. Jonah Jameson: Hoffman!
Ted Hoffman: Yeah?
J. Jonah Jameson: Call the patent office, copyright the name "Green Goblin". I want a quarter every time somebody says it!
Ted Hoffman: Yeah?
J. Jonah Jameson: Call the patent office, copyright the name "Green Goblin". I want a quarter every time somebody says it!
Kang the Conglomerator: Ahhhh, Hobie Brown. Spider-Punk.
Spider-Punk: Spider-Man. So what, you've come all the way from the future to get your teeth rearranged, that what this is?
Kang: On the contrary, this is a business trip. I am here because in the year 2099, KangCo Inc. Ltd. owns the life rights, identity, image, merchandising rights and all intellectual properties associated with one Hobart "Hobie" Brown, a.k.a. Spider-Punk.
Spider-Punk: Spider-Man. And... what?
Kang: What that means, Spider-Punk—
Spider-Punk: Spider—you know what, forget it.
Kang: —is that I own you. Or rather, your image. Heroes of your time all turn me a tidy profit. The dolls, the t-shirts, the comics... well, the comics don't make me much. But the films! Ah, the films!
Spider-Punk: Spider-Man. So what, you've come all the way from the future to get your teeth rearranged, that what this is?
Kang: On the contrary, this is a business trip. I am here because in the year 2099, KangCo Inc. Ltd. owns the life rights, identity, image, merchandising rights and all intellectual properties associated with one Hobart "Hobie" Brown, a.k.a. Spider-Punk.
Spider-Punk: Spider-Man. And... what?
Kang: What that means, Spider-Punk—
Spider-Punk: Spider—you know what, forget it.
Kang: —is that I own you. Or rather, your image. Heroes of your time all turn me a tidy profit. The dolls, the t-shirts, the comics... well, the comics don't make me much. But the films! Ah, the films!
