Quotes: Denser and Wackier

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"Mr. Howell now has the power to fly
The role of Mary Ann is now being played by Kareem Abdul-Jabar
Ginger is 500 feet high!
She is made entirely out of zinc!
I don't remember her being
that way in the first season!"
— "Something's Wrong with Gilligan's Island," by Radio Free Vestibule

Oh, and for the record, there was an episode of ''Happy Days where a guy literally jumped over a shark, and it was the best one!
Troy Barnes, Community

Now last week Steve used his transformation machine to turn Carl into a car and drive him around the Monaco Grand Prix! Come on! How many times are we going to use this 'transformation machine'? This was supposed to be a blue-collar Cosby Show! Now you're turning it into goddamn Quantum Leap!
—"Reginald VelJohnson", Key And Peele


So yeah, Spock's Vulcan rocket boots. This is that scene. Kirk and McCoy climb on. Um, comedy, It guess? I dunno. So in the last film, Spock accurately calculated time travel space-vector calculations on a rusty Klingon Bird of Prey which was running on half-assed dilithium crystals recharged from nuclear waste. This ship was also carrying an extra person and a tank of water with two humpback whales. But here he can't seem to figure out that his rocket boots probably can't hold the weight of three people. Now, I know this scene is supposed to be fun. But it's sorta like stupid fun. Like it should be in a Naked Gun movie or somethin'.

    Web Animation 

Now, the first Saint's Row game was comparatively straight. It wasn't exactly Homicide: Life on the Street, but you weren't going to climb on board any rocket-powered jet-bikes either. Saints Row 2 leaned wackier, with a slight unhealthy fascination with spraying poo at things other people would rather you didn't spray poo at, but was slightly grounded in reality at least. Saints Row: The Third drinks wackazade from a clown shoe. This is a trilogy progression we academics call 'Evil Dead Syndrome' and I'm not sure I like it.

    Web Original 

Welp, I officially don’t understand what’s going on in this Dick Tracy storyline, but at least it’s still dishing out the quotables. "Dr. Sail made me an accessory to fraud! I’ll never get back to the moon!" Ha ha, that’s a tough spot that we can all relate to, amiright?

These shows didn't 'jump the shark'. That doesn't do them justice. No, these are shows where the creators simply said, 'Fuck it', flew out of the water, broke the bounds of the earth's atmosphere and set a course for the center of the Sun. They took their shows down in a blaze of batshit insane glory, and we were there to watch.

Typically, when something jumps the shark, it not only loses touch with what made it appealing in the first place, it also starts to wane in popularity. The odd thing that makes Happy Days the exception to its own rule is that the show didn't start to decline in popularity at this point. The shark-jumping episode was a hit...The episode 'My Favorite Orkan' features a special guest appearance by a then-unknown Robin Williams as an alien named Mork from Ork. The fact that this family show suddenly has an episode about a spaceman would seem to be further evidence of shark-jumping, except for one small thing: the episode is awfully funny... Mork plans to take Richie back to his planet for scientific study, but Fonzie challenges Mork, in an ever-escalating battle of cartoony hijinks that proves the characters are worthy adversaries.

On the series finale of The Colbys, which only lasted 2 seasons from 1985 to 1987, the writers said “fuck it,” got stoned and went full crazy. Fallon, who suffered from headaches after falling down a flight of stairs, was driving one night and she somehow ended up on a deserted dirt road. Of course, her car broke down in the middle of nowhere and while calling for help on her car phone, her car went dead and a UFO suddenly appeared and landed in front of her. Emma Samms gives the performance of her career as she stands there, looking up at the UFO while thinking to herself, “The fuck am I doing with my career?” If only the spaceship door opened and her mom Alexis Carrington slowly sashayed out and said, “Look at what the cat dragged in.”

Fallon is summoned into the UFO by aliens and after she walks inside, it flies away into the sky. Now THAT is how a series finale is done. If J.J. Abrams ended LOST like that, he would’ve gotten loads and loads of praise for paying tribute to a true masterpiece that was snuffed out before its time...I bet this scene is like porn to John Travolta.
Michael K., "The UFO that appears out of nowhere and abducts Fallon Carrington Colby #2 (as played by Emma Samms) on the last episode of the Dynasty spin-off The Colbys!"

The Simpsons no longer marks the elevation of the sitcom formula to its highest form. Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset (perhaps while Bart gagged in the background) now end with Homer blowing a tranquilizer dart into Marge's neck.

I just want to see Lois dancing to Whitesnake on the hood of the Supermobile before we’re through here.
ComicsAlliance on Smallville ("Abandoned")

By the time the opening credits rolled on "Fortune", I was ready to turn off my TV. Actually I was ready to pick up my TV, stick it in my car, drive to Vancouver and commit righteous acts of revenge upon Anne Cofell Saunders with it.

I didn't though, and there are a few reasons why.
  1. Violence doesn't solve anything (so I've been told, though in this case it would mean that the recipient of the violence wouldn't be able to write anymore so I'm not entirely sure how accurate that belief system is)
  2. I'm delicate and wouldn't survive long in jail.
  3. Genevieve Sparling deserves it more.
  4. I like my TV. Also it's a Samsung and I suspect that Ms. Saunders would do more damage to it than it would do to her.
  5. Vancouver is a really long drive.
All of those reasons aside though, there's an even better one that I wouldn't have discovered had I turned the TV off; out of context "Fortune" is actually one of the most insane, wildly entertaining and flat out fun episodes Smallville has ever produced.

Out of context.

Wildly, madly out of context.

On Memory Alpha there is a fascinating quote from Joe Menosky where he states he didn’t care how Leonardo [Da Vinci] made it off the ship and into the real world — he just wanted the adventure to begin. That’s bollocks for a start, of course you need a logical reason for why otherwise the whole story is based on an idiotic premise that is inexplicable...What were they on writing this? You got to imagine some poor Admiral in Starfleet reading up this adventure in befuddlement once they get back to the Alpha Quadrant: "And then there was this metal bird waiting for us at the top of the hill…"
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "Concerning Flight"

But here we discover, to our inexpressible joy, that Doctor Who isn't the type of show that jumps the shark. Instead, it hitches it with reins and takes it for a sleigh-ride.

Matt: I mean, this is the guy who directed A Hard Day's Night. You’ve got to expect some degree of chicanery.
Chris: “Chicanery” really does sum up about 90% of this movie.
David: Superman III: Shenanigans!
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Superman III

The game plays with typical late-NES sequel sloppiness — graphics feel rushed, flat, and lifeless. But conceptually speaking, the game is completely nuts, involving running around the world collecting Rosetta Stones, of which there are apparently several now, so that they can eventually fight Cleopatra. Sadly, the plot was sanitized for (American) release, not in the sense of censorship but in the sense of adding sanity.
Dr. Phil Sandifer on Double Dragon III

It’s reasonable to say that Kojima planned to break the proverbial mold, releasing the genre from the uncreative rut it had settled into. It’s also reasonable to say that he simply thought people would enjoy the new, wackier Metal Gear style. After all, if people liked a shaman and a psychic, maybe they’d like a witch and a vampire too; maybe they’d like being tricked into playing as an ignorant pretty-boy instead of their favorite character; maybe they’d like to fight a fat jerk on rollerblades, or lead a scared girl around by the hand. And who knows, maybe he thought we’d like slipping on bird poop too. Maybe he thought we’d like spraying bombs in the lady’s bathroom, or running around butt-naked in the cold while being told to 'turn off the game'.

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Despite being a series of meta games, no other Metal Gear has come this close to total absurdity. Snake actually turns on cheat modes right in front of you, and the game just rolls with it!

    Real Life 

The last Nitro of 1999 was quite fitting, as the man who told the New York Times that he began and ended every conversation with the word "logic" wrote an angle in which Sid was locked in a car, then Bret ran it over with a monster truck. Not only did Sid survive, he was back the following week.
R. D. Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez, The Death of WCW