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Quotes: Denser and Wackier


"Mr. Howell now has the power to fly
The role of Mary Ann is now being played by Kareem Abdul-Jabar
Ginger is 500 feet high!
She is made entirely out of zinc!
I don't remember her being
that way in the first season!"
— "Something's Wrong with Gilligan's Island," by Radio Free Vestibule

"Oh, and for the record, there was an episode of Happy Days where a guy literally jumped over a shark, and it was the best one!"''
Troy Barnes, Community

"Now last week Steve used his transformation machine to turn Carl into a car and drive him around the Monaco Grand Prix! Come on! How many times are we going to use this 'transformation machine'? This was supposed to be a blue-collar Cosby Show! Now you're turning it into goddamn Quantum Leap!"
—"Reginald VelJohnson", Key And Peele


"Welp, I officially don’t understand what’s going on in this Dick Tracy storyline, but at least it’s still dishing out the quotables. 'Dr. Sail made me an accessory to fraud! I’ll never get back to the moon!' Ha ha, that’s a tough spot that we can all relate to, amiright?"

"Typically, when something jumps the shark, it not only loses touch with what made it appealing in the first place, it also starts to wane in popularity. The odd thing that makes Happy Days the exception to its own rule is that the show didn't start to decline in popularity at this point. The shark-jumping episode was a hit...The episode 'My Favorite Orkan' features a special guest appearance by a then-unknown Robin Williams as an alien named Mork from Ork. The fact that this family show suddenly has an episode about a spaceman would seem to be further evidence of shark-jumping, except for one small thing: the episode is awfully funny... Mork plans to take Richie back to his planet for scientific study, but Fonzie challenges Mork, in an ever-escalating battle of cartoony hijinks that proves the characters are worthy adversaries."

"But here we discover, to our inexpressible joy, that Doctor Who isn't the type of show that jumps the shark. Instead, it hitches it with reins and takes it for a sleigh-ride."

"The Simpsons no longer marks the elevation of the sitcom formula to its highest form. Episodes that once would have ended with Homer and Marge bicycling into the sunset (perhaps while Bart gagged in the background) now end with Homer blowing a tranquilizer dart into Marge's neck."

"These shows didn't 'jump the shark'. That doesn't do them justice. No, these are shows where the creators simply said, 'Fuck it', flew out of the water, broke the bounds of the earth's atmosphere and set a course for the center of the Sun. They took their shows down in a blaze of batshit insane glory, and we were there to watch."

"I just want to see Lois dancing to Whitesnake on the hood of the Supermobile before we’re through here."
ComicsAlliance on Smallville ("Abandoned")

"On Memory Alpha there is a fascinating quote from Joe Menosky where he states he didn’t care how Leonardo [Da Vinci] made it off the ship and into the real world – he just wanted the adventure to begin. That’s bollocks for a start, of course you need a logical reason for why otherwise the whole story is based on an idiotic premise that is inexplicable...What were they on writing this? You got to imagine some poor Admiral in Starfleet reading up this adventure in befuddlement once they get back to the Alpha Quadrant: ‘And then there was this metal bird waiting for us at the top of the hill…‘"
Doc Oho on Star Trek: Voyager, "Concerning Flight"

"So yeah, Spock's Vulcan rocket boots. This is that scene. Kirk and McCoy climb on. Um, comedy, It guess? I dunno. So in the last film, Spock accurately calculated time travel space-vector calculations on a rusty Klingon Bird of Prey which was running on half-assed dilithium crystals recharged from nuclear waste. This ship was also carrying an extra person and a tank of water with two humpback whales. But here he can't seem to figure out that his rocket boots probably can't hold the weight of three people. Now, I know this scene is supposed to be fun. But it's sorta like stupid fun. Like it should be in a Naked Gun movie or somethin'."

Matt: I mean, this is the guy who directed A Hard Day's Night. You’ve got to expect some degree of chicanery.
Chris: “Chicanery” really does sum up about 90% of this movie.
David: Superman III: Shenanigans!
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Superman III

"The game plays with typical late-NES sequel sloppiness — graphics feel rushed, flat, and lifeless. But conceptually speaking, the game is completely nuts, involving running around the world collecting Rosetta Stones, of which there are apparently several now, so that they can eventually fight Cleopatra. Sadly, the plot was sanitized for (American) release, not in the sense of censorship but in the sense of adding sanity."
Phil Sandifer on Double Dragon III

"Now, the first Saint's Row game was comparatively straight. It wasn't exactly Homicide Life On The Street, but you weren't going to climb on board any rocket-powered jet-bikes either. Saints Row 2 leaned wackier, with a slight unhealthy fascination with spraying poo at things other people would rather you didn't spray poo at, but was slightly grounded in reality at least. Saints Row: The Third drinks wackazade from a clown shoe. This is a trilogy progression we academics call 'Evil Dead Syndrome' and I'm not sure I like it."

"Despite being a series of meta games, no other Metal Gear has come this close to total absurdity. Snake actually turns on cheat modes right in front of you, and the game just rolls with it!"

"It’s reasonable to say that Kojima planned to break the proverbial mold, releasing the genre from the uncreative rut it had settled into. It’s also reasonable to say that he simply thought people would enjoy the new, wackier Metal Gear style. After all, if people liked a shaman and a psychic, maybe they’d like a witch and a vampire too; maybe they’d like being tricked into playing as an ignorant pretty-boy instead of their favorite character; maybe they’d like to fight a fat jerk on rollerblades, or lead a scared girl around by the hand. And who knows, maybe he thought we’d like slipping on bird poop too. Maybe he thought we’d like spraying bombs in the lady’s bathroom, or running around butt-naked in the cold while being told to 'turn off the game'."

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