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Quotes: Covers Always Lie
Ted (upon seeing Hell): "This is not what I expected."
Bill: "Yeah, we were totally lied to by our album covers."

"I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted."

Jay: The back of the box says he's making a race of, like, zombie ninjas, which sounds promising. But there are no zombie ninjas in the movie.
Rich: They should've just called it the Macguffin formula. "We need the Macguffin formula to make superior Macguffins!"
Best of the Worst on Ninja Warriors (1985)

Jessi: One thing that is really disappointing — that I feel kinda lied to about — is on the back here. There were "explosions", and there were "chases", but there was no "1-against-100 bazooka battles."
Josh: So, is it one hundred people with one bazooka...? Or is it one person fighting a hundred bazookas?
Jay: It doesn't matter, because there were no bazookas in the movie.
Jessi: There was not even a-one bazooka. And I am kinda pissed.
Best of the Worst on Never Too Young to Die (1986)

Jay: I think we can all agree, though, that the cover is a work of art. It should be hanging in a museum.
Jessi: You know what? I wish that the videotape was blank, and that all we had to go off of was the cover. That would've made me happy.
Best of the Worst on Tree Stand Safety.note 

Josh: "Part-cop." Nope. At no point is she a cop.
Jay: No! (I didn't even think about that!)
Josh: "Part-machine." She's entirely machine, as far as I know.
Jay: Yes.
Josh: "All-woman." Eeeyh.
Jay: NO! No-woman! All-machine!
Mike: The only part that's not a machine is the wig.

"Mazes and Monsters, starring Tom Hanks in his first leading role! The DVD artwork makes this movie look kickass, man! ..Even if this is a stock photo of Tom taken about fifteen years after the movie was made and, y'know, there aren't actually any enormous labyrinths, evil castles, or dragons in this movie. Uh...okay, I guess this whole cover's a lie."

"The audience thinks they're getting a world-famous actor between Oscar nods—instead it's just a guy fresh off his first guest spot on Love Boat."

"This film appears to be a victim of the big trend of a few years ago where anything featuring vampires had to be made to look like a Twilight sequel. You might be getting a slightly less romantic vibe from the original poster; thatís because Near Dark is actually a pretty gory horror-comedy, and the romance element that dominates the Blu-ray cover is just a small part of the film. And despite what the misleading artwork suggests, itís the girl who turns the guy into a vampire, not the other way around."

"The cover's a complete lie! Never do the police chase after you. Maybe if that was just the front artwork, that would be excusable, but the back says, 'you'll be hauling loads and trying to stay one step ahead of the law'... Oh, no no, I stand corrected: This game delivers a "load", all right. Load of fucking shit!"

"Maybe it isn't entirely forthright, putting a crusader badass the cover of your medieval allegory — but I don't care. In fact, I support this kind of thing wholeheartedly: fact is, sometimes you got to lie to a motherfucker. If showing a dude holding a giant spine with an aftermarket scythe affixed is what it takes to get young men to read a single page of the classics, than so be it. I hope these shenanigans work like gangbusters. We've got your backs on this thing."
Tycho, Penny Arcade

"Featuring: No Scene Even Remotely Like This Inside!"
normalman

The Monster in the Darkness: Wait— The scene on the cover didn't happen that way.
Demon-roach: Welcome to show business, kid.

"Now, the box art doesn't look too completely terrible, right? Well guess what? It's a lie! It's a complete and utter LIE!"

"Actually this is a complete lie. The Pictured scene does not actually happen."


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