Let's Play Advance Wars
my dude (seeing Nell for the first time): Helloooo, nurse.
— Part 1
my dude: Time to teach this idiot a lesson. And to do it, I will need the help of my personal idiot. Where is he?
Andy: What's that?
my dude: There he is. What I said, Andy, if you'd been listening, is that we're teaching an idiot a lesson. Come on.
Andy: What's that?
my dude: There he is. What I said, Andy, if you'd been listening, is that we're teaching an idiot a lesson. Come on.
— Part 17
my dude: Today on "my dude is shot in the foot by his own lack of tactical ability", we're onto the first Sonja mission.
— Part 30
my dude: BEEP BEEP, MONKEYFUCKERS. IT’S ORANGE STAR, AND WE’VE COME FOR YOUR KNEECAPS.
— Part 40
Andy: All right, that's...
my dude: Quiet, Dipshit. We're still insulting you.
Eagle: If you put it that way, it's hard to imagine Andy pulling it off.
my dude: I mean, the kid doesn't even know what an airport is.
Andy: You guys are mean!
my dude: Dipshit, honey, no. It's not bullying, it's character building.
my dude: Quiet, Dipshit. We're still insulting you.
Eagle: If you put it that way, it's hard to imagine Andy pulling it off.
my dude: I mean, the kid doesn't even know what an airport is.
Andy: You guys are mean!
my dude: Dipshit, honey, no. It's not bullying, it's character building.
— Part 41
Von Panzer (under heavy fire): Ngh! Nein! I… will… persist! Good soldiers follow orders. And I was ordered to hold this point!
— Part 42
Rin: No... Your hero died?
Dave: Yeah. His last words were asking me to carry on his ambition - to defeat Blue Moon. Cycle of revenge, you see? Rin, you’re a good girl. Kind and charming. Everyone here likes you. But… you can’t idolise me. I’ll fall, because nobody’s invincible. And you’ll take up that cycle of revenge. You’ll hate the people who kill me as much as I hated Blue Moon for killing Craigsworth. Because they won't just kill your hero - they’ll kill the idea that heroes can even exist. And I can’t have that happen to you of all people.
Rin: Dave, I...
Dave: As I said, once you get your revenge, you barely remember why you started fighting in the first place. I don’t want that to happen to you. I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.
Dave: Yeah. His last words were asking me to carry on his ambition - to defeat Blue Moon. Cycle of revenge, you see? Rin, you’re a good girl. Kind and charming. Everyone here likes you. But… you can’t idolise me. I’ll fall, because nobody’s invincible. And you’ll take up that cycle of revenge. You’ll hate the people who kill me as much as I hated Blue Moon for killing Craigsworth. Because they won't just kill your hero - they’ll kill the idea that heroes can even exist. And I can’t have that happen to you of all people.
Rin: Dave, I...
Dave: As I said, once you get your revenge, you barely remember why you started fighting in the first place. I don’t want that to happen to you. I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.
— Part 44
my dude: But we're done here. Sturm, do you understand? You’re done. Let this be remembered as the day that the bumbling, arrogant, thoughtless my dude, the ACO that everyone underestimated time and time again, carved his name into the annals of history as the greatest tactician in Wars World. Today, everyone gets to go home to their loved ones. Today, it’s over. I did it. Holy shit, I did it...
— Part 49
Let's Play Advance Wars 2
my dude: Yea, but why didn’t you tell me that he did this? It's the best thing I’ve seen all day.
Ruin: I didn’t think it was relevant to the story.
my dude: Dipshit being a dipshit is ALWAYS relevant to the story.
Ruin: I didn’t think it was relevant to the story.
my dude: Dipshit being a dipshit is ALWAYS relevant to the story.
my dude (to Ruin): You know, I'd have given you less backtalk if I'd known you had like seven different ways of murdering me on hand at all times.
my dude: Yar-harr! Splice the mainbrace and, uh, whatnot!
Ruin (sarcastically): My goodness. How convincing. It's like there's a pirate in this very room.
Ruin (sarcastically): My goodness. How convincing. It's like there's a pirate in this very room.
Lloyd: That's crazy! Rin, you've left yourself open! Even if the bomber chooses to go for someone else, with the damage you've got, that battle copter will do you in!
Rin: There'th nobody elthe capable of taking care of it right now! If we don't stop the enemy here, then Thenthei- Sensei's fortheth will be overrun!*
Landon: But- You told us that Dave said-
Rin: I know. I know.
Rin: There'th nobody elthe capable of taking care of it right now! If we don't stop the enemy here, then Thenthei- Sensei's fortheth will be overrun!*
Landon: But- You told us that Dave said-
Rin: I know. I know.
my dude (observing an enemy tank choosing who to attack): It has chosen Aanisah.
Ruin: "So, you have chosen death."
my dude: Wait, you've seen Lord of the Rings?
Ruin: My dude, I am an omniversal police officer. I have been to Middle-earth.
my dude: You know you have the coolest fucking job in the omniverse, right?
Ruin: "So, you have chosen death."
my dude: Wait, you've seen Lord of the Rings?
Ruin: My dude, I am an omniversal police officer. I have been to Middle-earth.
my dude: You know you have the coolest fucking job in the omniverse, right?
Ruin (on the subject of Hyper Upgrade): Speaking of, do you remember this?
my dude: What, his shitty power? Vaguely, yes.
Ruin: Well, we're finally going to see it in action. All of his troops are fully healed and gain some rather sizeable boosts. Dave and Alfonse team up to take out this mech - on mountain terrain, no less.
my dude: Eh, anyone could've done that.
Ruin: Lloyd obliterates the sub... ...whilst Landon pulverises the tank.
my dude: ...I suppose that's a decent increase in damage...
Ruin: Fliss/Ingo head down here to cover the port and take out the last anti-air. And then Lucy heads over here to eradicate the rockets before they heal up any more.
my dude: ...I'm not going to say it.
Ruin: It's undeniable.
my dude: OK, fine, Dipshit's Super CO Power is actually pretty good and he's no longer a complete write-off of a CO.
Ruin: Hee hee. I'm satisfied.
my dude: still a fuckin idiot though
my dude: What, his shitty power? Vaguely, yes.
Ruin: Well, we're finally going to see it in action. All of his troops are fully healed and gain some rather sizeable boosts. Dave and Alfonse team up to take out this mech - on mountain terrain, no less.
my dude: Eh, anyone could've done that.
Ruin: Lloyd obliterates the sub... ...whilst Landon pulverises the tank.
my dude: ...I suppose that's a decent increase in damage...
Ruin: Fliss/Ingo head down here to cover the port and take out the last anti-air. And then Lucy heads over here to eradicate the rockets before they heal up any more.
my dude: ...I'm not going to say it.
Ruin: It's undeniable.
my dude: OK, fine, Dipshit's Super CO Power is actually pretty good and he's no longer a complete write-off of a CO.
Ruin: Hee hee. I'm satisfied.
my dude: still a fuckin idiot though
Lucy: Dave... Dave, what would Rin say if she saw this?
Dave: She'd tell me that she didn't want me to die. She'd ask me to retreat. She'd cry, and beg, and probably convince me to fall back in the end. All in all... it's a damn good job that she's not here to see this.
Dave: She'd tell me that she didn't want me to die. She'd ask me to retreat. She'd cry, and beg, and probably convince me to fall back in the end. All in all... it's a damn good job that she's not here to see this.
my dude: Sup, Ruin. Pinch me, because I must be dreaming. Did the last part actually happen?
Ruin: You aren't. Tina did actually return in the previous interview. You screamed "hell yeah" at the top of your lungs and really frightened one of my coworkers.
Ruin: You aren't. Tina did actually return in the previous interview. You screamed "hell yeah" at the top of your lungs and really frightened one of my coworkers.
my dude: It’s over. But… is he only going to the lightest holding cells? He murdered someone, you know.
Ruin: My dude. Remember, we’re the Omniversal Police. We arrest invincible demons, literal gods, and the swirling manifestation of destruction itself. They’re the sort of things that get taken to the heavy holding cells.
my dude: How the hell do you arrest the swirling manifestation of destruction itself?
Ruin: With very big handcuffs.
Ruin: My dude. Remember, we’re the Omniversal Police. We arrest invincible demons, literal gods, and the swirling manifestation of destruction itself. They’re the sort of things that get taken to the heavy holding cells.
my dude: How the hell do you arrest the swirling manifestation of destruction itself?
Ruin: With very big handcuffs.
Rose: Tina. I’m about to do something incredibly childish, and I’d like to apologise in advance.
my dude: Yes, I'm a genius. Thank you for noticing.
Let's Play Advance Wars: Dual Strike
Rachel, questioning an Orange Star soldier: The fighter and battle copter are both within range, so let's attack. But which unit should you attack: the fighter or the copter?
my dude: The copt-
Rachel: I KNOW you know! You're a strategist! I was asking HIM!
my dude: The copt-
Rachel: I KNOW you know! You're a strategist! I was asking HIM!
— Part 3
Colin: Commander Olaf spoke at length about your incredible prowess during your first encounter some years ago, sir! Do you remember? He went on about how you were a virtually unbeatable military commander, able to outpace him in every battle.
my dude: Wait, our first…? Oh, dude. I was in training during that! I didn’t even know what I was doing!
Colin: You were…? Oh. That, um, re-contextualises things a bit…
Sasha: Oh, Commander Olaf… somehow, this doesn’t surprise me.
my dude: Wait, our first…? Oh, dude. I was in training during that! I didn’t even know what I was doing!
Colin: You were…? Oh. That, um, re-contextualises things a bit…
Sasha: Oh, Commander Olaf… somehow, this doesn’t surprise me.
— Part 7
my dude, talking with Sasha: Oh my god, you’re right. I associate Fog of War with losing people. That’s why I hate it so much. Because suddenly, whether they live or die isn’t down to my strategy - it’s down to luck. Oh my god! I never realised how much I repressed this stuff!
— Part 11
my dude: If they had any sense, they brought at least one of their three primary strategists: Rose, Sonja or Vanessa. And if they did, there's no chance they got ambushed.
Rachel: "If they had any sense"? My dude, Kanbei runs the country, remember?
my dude: oh god we need to save Yellow Comet
Rachel: "If they had any sense"? My dude, Kanbei runs the country, remember?
my dude: oh god we need to save Yellow Comet
— Part 17
Rose (talking to the Yellow Comet COs): I've fought with my dude long enough to know and fear his strength.
my dude (talking to the Orange Star COs): I've fought with Rose long enough to know and fear her strength.
my dude and Rose: This battle isn’t going to be easy. But I have to know. Which of us is stronger?
my dude (talking to the Orange Star COs): I've fought with Rose long enough to know and fear her strength.
my dude and Rose: This battle isn’t going to be easy. But I have to know. Which of us is stronger?
— Part 23
Kindle: Only a person with my...je ne sais quoi could possibly use the piperunners! Not like that pale, unsightly little girl with no makeup on!
Sasha: How dare you!
Sensei: Hm... In my day, we'd never have insulted a child like that. Especially not one who could beat you with her hands tied behind her back, heh heh!
my dude: Oh, you are NOT talking about Rose right now.
Rose: Forgive me for speaking in a less than polite manner, everyone, but...stand aside. I'm going to DESTROY this woman.
Sasha: How dare you!
Sensei: Hm... In my day, we'd never have insulted a child like that. Especially not one who could beat you with her hands tied behind her back, heh heh!
my dude: Oh, you are NOT talking about Rose right now.
Rose: Forgive me for speaking in a less than polite manner, everyone, but...stand aside. I'm going to DESTROY this woman.
— Part 37
Rose: Do you think you can beat me, Kindle? Whilst we are here playing games with our tanks, I have already defeated you in an area of the battlefield you've not been concentrating on. You can only see the battlefield as a little game to play with your little toys. I see the whole battlefield - every turn, every action, every possibility, and from those, I find a winning strategy. There is nothing you can do to me that I have not accounted for. I was once called the Desolate Flower... for I felt that I was desolate, lonely, in my new role as an ACO, away from my friends in Orange Star. But I have old and new friends, and plenty of allies, who have helped me grow, and feel less alone. I think it is time for a new name - no longer will I be desolate, but I shall make my foes experience that misery instead! I am Rose Kuroda, the Flower of Desolation!
— Part 41
my dude: ...And then we blow up our own aircraft carrier.
Rachel: OK, NOW you've lost your mind.
Rachel: OK, NOW you've lost your mind.
— Part 45
my dude: All right! Time for Operation-
Rachel: Oh, THIS ought to be good. What silly operation name have you come up with this time?
my dude: ...Actually, I'm not in a joking mood today. Operation Save Lena is go.
Rachel: That’s...surprisingly mature of you. Alright, let’s do it then! Operation Save Lena! Move out!
Sasha: My dude? What are you smirking about?
my dude: OK, you CANNOT tell Rachel this, but I actually called it Operation Hey Soul Sister.
Rachel: Oh, THIS ought to be good. What silly operation name have you come up with this time?
my dude: ...Actually, I'm not in a joking mood today. Operation Save Lena is go.
Rachel: That’s...surprisingly mature of you. Alright, let’s do it then! Operation Save Lena! Move out!
Sasha: My dude? What are you smirking about?
my dude: OK, you CANNOT tell Rachel this, but I actually called it Operation Hey Soul Sister.
— Part 53
