Quotes / Cool Shades

Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

—The 100 Rules of Anime: #81 The Law of Shades/Coolness Factor.

Oh, THESE sunglasses? You can't afford THESE sunglasses! And get your hands off the ropes!

—Super Macho Man, Punch-Out!! Wii

Oh David Caruso, is there nothing your sunglasses can fix?

—Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

You got designer shades
just to hide your face
And you wear 'em around
Like you're cooler than me

— Mike Posner, "Cooler Than Me"

"Jubilee accidentally blows up the game with her mutant powers and, when the arcade manager freaks out and asks if she knows how much it costs, she responds with 'Yeah: a quarter,' lowers her shades like the love child of Horatio Caine and Bret 'The Hitman' Hart, and runs out."

—Chris Sims on X-Men: The Animated Series

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

— The Blues Brothers

Then three men in natty cream-colored summer suits came to stand near me at the curb, and something about them struck me like a hammer. They were all wearing dark glasses. I had seen it thousands of times, but suddenly what I had considered an empty imitation of a Hollywood fad was flooded with personal significance.

— Invisible Man

"Who is this cool dude?"

— Blobbo (Puzzle Game for the Apple Macintosh), mouseover description for the player character when wearing sunglasses

"Oh yeah, I’m over screwdrivers. They spoil the line of your jacket. These days I’m all about wearable technology."

— The Doctor, debuting his new Sonic Sunglasses, "The Witch's Familiar"

"AHH! I just love these shades! They're so fresh!"

— Callie, Splatoon 2

"I am invincible in these sunglasses
I am the Fonz, I am the Jack of Hearts
I am looking at you and you cannot tell that I am more than the sum of my parts
I am looking at you with my best eyes and I wish you could tell
I wish all of my kids would stop dressing up like Richard Hell
I am locked away in a high-tech wrap-around translucent blue-tinted fortress
And you cannot fucking touch me
I am invincible in these sunglasses
Cars are going beep beep beep
And there are so many roadmen on this street
And you cannot tell that I am scared
I am invincible in these sunglasses
I'm modern Scott Walker
I'm a surprisingly smooth talker
And I'm invincible in these sunglasses"

— Black Country, New Road, "Sunglasses"

(Channing Tatum skydives into a city)

"Look at this guy! He's one of the sunglasses-people and the sunglasses-people are heroes! They have a devil-may-care attitude and they run this town!"

(Channing Tatum jumps into a car with a hot blonde)

"See? That's not even his car. Or his wife. For the sunglasses-people, they get to do anything they want! They go on all sorts of missions, they've got cool hair, cool clothes. I mean, the laws aren't really laws to them. They're more like...mild suggestions. Like, I'm not even sure if he's going to return that car. Or that nice lady."

(Channing Tatum leaves a path of destruction in his wake)

"See what I mean? Hero!"

—"Blue Shirt" Guy, Free Guy

*angelic chorus* "Forged in molten plastic. Covered with silvery mirror stuff. The ultimate... in cool." *electric guitar riff*

—Bloo, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, putting on sunglasses specifically because of their coolness.

By the way, you'll die if I take off these sunglasses.

—Pacesetter pulling down his sunglasses while threatening Multislacker, Toontown: Corporate Clash

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