It's a virus where you buy it and you play it with your friends and they're like, "Oh my God that's so cool, I'm gonna go buy it." So you stop playing it after two months, but they buy it and they stop playing it after two months but they've showed it to someone else who then go out and buy it and so on. Everyone I know bought one and nobody turns it on. Obviously there's a class of people who really love it and enjoy it and are getting into the games but I'm still waiting for that one game that makes me play it.
—Mike Capps on the Wii, proving even Developers themselves can get caught up.
Gabe: You never fought in the Console Wars. You don't know what it was like in the lunchroom, listening to Nintendo guys talk about Mario, and Zelda, and Starfox. Man, I was plugging cartridges into other cartridges, and then I plugged those cartridges into the 32X. What did they have? Tycho: Didn't they have a robot? Gabe: You know what? Fuck off. Everybody's always bringing up that fucking robot.
This is how in a simple way you can find out if it's a gamer you want to play with. Ask them if they have a Wii. If they say yes, get the fuck out of there... Who wants to play the Wii version of LEGO Star Wars? I'd rather eat glass.
"Microsoft is a sacriligeous institution. Only SSBM makes you godly. Without SSBM, where are you? Without SSBM, is there god?...
There is 'absolute proof' that You are Sony stupid. Videogames are a Nintendian Princple, & you are too dumb to know. To ignore it is to support evil."
"I just wanted to bring you back to a simpler time when there wasn't a care in the world other than defending your favorite console. There's always problems going on in the world and political issues and whatnot, but back then, all we cared about was what's better: Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo? And, um, one thing I do know: the world wouldn't be complete without both of them."
Sonic: [snapping after hearing "Take down the Genesis Unit"]
The Console Wars are never
over! This is for the Saturn! Remember the Dreamcast! Mega Man:
Aah! Cut it out! I'm multi-platform!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
No! It's FanBoy, here to save you from all your bad game choices!
Using his ability to quickly leap to conclusions, FanBoy arrives just in time to stop yet another young life get destroyed by PS3 ownership.
"But I really like LittleBigPlanet
" protests Bobby, clutching the box closer to his chest as he approaches the cashier.
"No you don't, you've just been fooled by slick marketing!" says FanBoy, snatching the PS3 from the young man's grasp.
A menacing voice emanates from the shadows.
"Give him back that console," growls The Sessler, stepping into the light, "it's his choice."
"But he is WRONG!
Xbox is the only console worth owning, and you know it Sessler!"
"This ends here...
" The Sessler grabs FanBoy by his cape
, dragging him out of the GameStop
FanBoy struggles in vain to escape, but The Sessler is too strong.
"I'm telling my Mom about you!
" he squeals
," says The Sessler, "let's go and see her right now..."
"I would rather game with Craig than spend one
minute having to set up an Xbox Live account."
Can you imagine if you stumbled onto some painting message board where people were debating whether oils or acrylics were better, and the debate consisted of people listing off the chemical compositions of the two paints, and the people on the oil side were saying things like acrylics dry too fast and don't have the Blast Blending of oils, and acrylics don't hold as much pigment as oils, and because the chemical makeup of acrylics is incompatible with the alizarin pigment you only see real alizarin crimson in oils, and acrylics aren't really a paint but a drawing instrument in disguise, and because you can put oil on top of acrylics but not the other way around it's like Chemistry itself says oils come out on top? Can you imagine if the oil people said adding mediums to acrylics is "cheating"? And can you imagine if this had been going on for twenty fucking years?
Actually, with the Internet being what it is that argument probably exists somewhere out there, but please feel no need to inform me if it you know where it's happening. I'm depressed enough as it is.
Oh, and I dare anybody to come and tell me that analogy is irrelevant because I'm talking about art mediums, not gaming consoles.
"I have never seen anything so bitterly disputed between armies of fanboys as back then between the Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis, because nobody had both. You had to pick a side and stand by it. It was brother against brother. People died! People still argue this today. We still got poser critics making videos about which oneís better. Anyway, I picked a side. You want to know what side I was on? Fuck you, thatís my side! Iím a PC gamer, motherfuckers!"