Quotes: But Liquor Is Quicker

Oh booze, sweet booze. The sweet nectar can be a delicious and wonderful thing, but sometimes it leads you down a dark, destructive path where you wake up with half of your face burned off because the booze screwed with your decision-making skills and you thought it would be a really good idea to eat out Parasite Hilton.

"If I hadn't been drinking Ripple, I would've never had you. Ripple's your real Daddy!"
—Dr. Hibbert's father, The Simpsons

"In a few hours, I'm gonna look like a good idea!"

"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host. "

It's Cold Gin time again
You know it always wins!
Cold Gin time again
You know it's the only thing
That keeps us together!
KISS, "Cold Gin"

Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough that I wanna do this. Not so drunk you should feel guilty for taking advantage.
Chandler: [beat] Well that's the perfect amount!

Zii (on texting a breakup to her boyfriend with the express intent of begging forgiveness the next morning so jumping the half-naked girl next to her would not be cheating): Shonya... it might be the alllcohol talkin', but that is one brilliant idea!