"If I hadn't been drinking Ripple, I would've never had you. Ripple's your real Daddy!"
—Dr. Hibbert's father, The Simpsons
"In a few hours, I'm gonna look like a good idea!"
— Lewis, The Drew Carey Show
"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host. "
It's Cold Gin time again
You know it always wins!
Cold Gin time again
You know it's the only thing
That keeps us together!
— KISS, "Cold Gin"
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough that I wanna do this. Not so drunk you should feel guilty for taking advantage.
Chandler: [beat] Well that's the perfect amount!
Zii (on texting a breakup to her boyfriend with the express intent of begging forgiveness the next morning so jumping the half-naked girl next to her would not be cheating): Shonya... it might be the alllcohol talkin', but that is one brilliant idea!
— 'Ménage à 3