->Oh booze, sweet booze. The sweet nectar can be a delicious and wonderful thing, but sometimes it leads you down a dark, destructive path where you wake up with half of your face burned off because the booze screwed with your decision-making skills and you thought it would be a really good idea to eat out [[Creator/ParisHilton Parasite Hilton.]]
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/01/09/henry-cavill-and-parasite-hilton-left-the-chateau-marmont-together/ Michael K.]]'''

->"If I hadn't been drinking Ripple, I would've never had you. Ripple's your real Daddy!"
-->--Dr. Hibbert's father, ''TheSimpsons''

->''"In a few hours, I'm gonna look like a good idea!"''
-->-- '''Lewis''', ''TheDrewCareyShow''

->''"I like to have a martini,\\
Two at the very most.\\
After three I'm under the table,\\
after four I'm under my host. "''
-->-- '''DorothyParker'''

->''It's Cold Gin time again\\
You know it always wins!\\
Cold Gin time again\\
You know it's the only thing\\
That keeps us together!''
-->-- '''{{Music/KISS}}''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC9A8wjojzY "Cold Gin"]]

->'''Chandler:''' How drunk are you?
->'''Monica:''' Drunk enough that I wanna do this. Not so drunk you should feel guilty for taking advantage.
->'''Chandler:''' ''[beat]'' Well that's the perfect amount!
-->-- ''Series/{{Friends}}''

->'''Zii''' (on texting a breakup to her boyfriend with the express intent of begging forgiveness the next morning so jumping the half-naked girl next to her would not be cheating): ''Shonya... it might be the alllcohol talkin', but that is one brilliant idea!''
-->-- '''Webcomic/MenageA3''

Is Dandy\\
But liquor\\
Is quicker"''
-->-- '''Creator/OgdenNash''', "Reflections on Ice-Breaking"

->''"Everybody moved to new hot spots- the Jockey Club, the Coconut Grove, the Bombay, and later the Cricket Club, the disco in the Quayside Towers. People called the Quayside Towers the "Quaalude Towers". Quaaludes were the other great drug that people were taking along with coke. Quaaludes were more underground when Andy and I snuck them into the punch in our New York discos. In Miami you'd go out for drinks with a broad, and she'd bring her own Quaaludes. It wasn't like today, where a guy will sneak roofies into some poor broad's drinks so he could have his way with her. Back then broads would knock themselves out on purpose."''
-->-- '''Jon Roberts''' and '''Evan Wright''', ''American Desperado''

->''Now wait a minute\\
Things don't look too familiar\\
Who is the cowboy who's sleepin' beside me\\
Well he's awful cute\\
But how do I get his shirt on\\
I had too much tequila last night''
-->-- '''Shelly West''', "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7EZ9V6F9yo Jose Cuervo"]]

->''"Quaaludes were very popular in Miami in the [[TheSeventies early 1970s]] and Bauer, a connoisseur of illicit substances, nominates the Rorer 714 Quaalude as the world's best drug and Quaaludes as the world's best drug and Quaaludes in general as a fine aphrodisiac. A number of airlines had [[SexyStewardess stewardess training programs]] in Miami at that time, so the apartment complexes were flooded with attractive, adventurous young women, much to the budding drug dealer's delight. The Quaaludes were so effective at disarming those women that the men nicknamed the drug "instant pussy"."''
-->-- '''Jason Ryan''', ''Jackpot: High Times, High Seas and the Sting That Launched the War on Drugs''

->''"We'll do some drinkin'\\
We'll tell some jokes\\
We'll spend some money\\
And tell some lies\\
And make us look good in our new neighborhood\\
Make us look good in our new neighborhood\\
Make us look good in our new neighborhood"''

->''"We'll feel some muscles\\
We'll tell some jokes\\
We'll write the wrong phone numbers on their shirts\\
'Cause I'm not lookin' to fall in love\\
You know I'm not lookin' to fall in love"''
-->-- '''K.T. Oslin''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmqaAl1_WZc "Mexico Road"]]