"Hey, I got a plan. How 'bout miniature golf?"
"There's no course here."
"Okay, uh, miniature tennis! A very tiny form of tennis that we could invent..."
Xander and Willow
"Yo, G-man! What's up?"
"Nice to see you, and don't ever call me that."
Xander and Giles
"Yes, I must consult my books."
(to Willow) "OH! 8 minutes and 33 seconds. Pay up! I called 10 minutes before you'd 'consult your books' about something."
Giles and Xander
"The other night I dreamt that Xander— (off everyone's looks) Uh, it wasn't Xander. ...In fact, it wasn't me. ...In fact, it was a friend's dream, and she can't remember it."''
"Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at The Bronze tonight?"
"Cibo Matto? They're playing?"
"No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing."
(amazement) "Cibo Matto can clog dance?!"
Xander and Willow
"There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense."
"No, actually that would be one of the five."''
Principal Snyder and Giles
Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers.
Buffy: (to Xander) Was that an insult?
Xander: Kinda lacked punch.
Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool.
Cordelia: (beat) I see your point.
Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges.
Cordelia: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?
Willow: (loudly) Uh, yes! Our own personal demons!
Xander: Uh, such as— as, as lust and, uh, thrift!
Buffy: I would have to go with "Stooges" also.
"You're really campaigning for Bitch of the Year, aren't you?"
"As defending champion, you nervous?"
"I can hold my own."
Cordelia and Buffy
Willow: Why else would [Buffy] be acting like such a B-I-T-C-H?
Giles: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A Bitca?
"What would somebody want with Master bones?"
"A trophy? A horrible conversation piece?"
Willow and Xander
(reads ransom note) "Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal."
"They're gonna cook her dinner?! (beat) ...I'll pretend I didn't say that."
Buffy and Xander
"Well, what about the rest of the note?"
"What rest of the note?"
"The part that says, 'P.S., this is a trap.'"
Willow and Buffy
"We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness."
Buffy, about The Master
"You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?"
"I'm going to kill them all. That ought to distract them."