Quotes / Better Living Through Evil

I mean, being a freedom fighter, a force for good, it's—it's a wonderful thing. You get to make your own hours, looks good on a résumé, but the pay...sucks.

— Bester makes Lyta an offer she can't refuse, Babylon 5, "Moments of Transition"

Renault: In 1935 you ran guns to Ethiopia. In 1936 you fought in Spain, on the Loyalist side.
Rick: I got well paid for it on both occasions.
Renault: The winning side would have paid you much better.
Rick: [deflated] Much.

— Casablanca

This odd little woman is attempting to give a moral sanction to greed and self interest, and to pull it off she must at times indulge in purest Orwellian newspeak of the 'freedom is slavery' sort...She has a great attraction for simple people who are puzzled by organized society, who object to paying taxes, who dislike the 'welfare' state, who feel guilt at the thought of the suffering of others but who would like to harden their hearts. For them, she has an enticing prescription: altruism is the root of all evil, self-interest is the only good, and if you're dumb or incompetent that's your lookout.

— Gore Vidal on Ayn Rand

In one of the conference rooms in Hell, Satan is holding meetings with the evil souls at ABC to try and figure out how they can keep shoving Kate Gosselin down the public-at-large’s throats... the Kraken of moms is in talks with ABC about starring in her own dating show. They are even considering making her the next Bachelorette. We are never waking up from our national nightmare.

— Michael K., "The Bitchorette Is More Like It"

Since the Mexican government is nonexistent in some parts of the country, cartels have taken to establishing schools and hospitals. But it's not out of the goodness of their hearts — they recruit from these schools. We're talking poor kids in rural areas with not much else in the way of opportunity. Imagine if your dad worked his ass off all week for 20 bucks, and then the cool kid in school with an iPad and designer jeans starts saying, 'You know what, you could earn $800 or $900 a month, I know some people ...'

That kid is going to listen real intently to what his 'friend' has to say. It's not even a matter of greed; most of us would do the same if faced with a choice between 'starvation wages' and 'smuggling.' It's the same with the police; you might earn as little as $11,000 per year as a local cop. If you go crooked, you can make three times that much. Integrity disappears fast when it's standing between you and things like antibiotics for your kids or plain ol' liquor money.

And for those who don't join...

—Cracked, "6 Ways Life in Cartel-Run Mexico is Nothing Like You Think"

Matt: We are introduced to what I believed to be heaven at the time: A giant indoor skate park filled with arcade games. Sure, it's the base for a giant, ninja-themed criminal organization, but that’s a minor detail.
Chris: You mentioned earlier that director Steve Barron would go on to do a version of Pinocchio, and there is no way that wasn't inspired by this scene. This is straight up the '90s version of the carnival where kids are turned into donkeys in that story, only here it's rad teens being turned into ninjas. There are kids smoking cigars, busting out tricks on skate ramps, girls dressed like Poison from Final Fight... They even have cigarettes! Regular... or menthol.

— Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

"The Adepts offered me a world where I could lie in bed all day with my brain hooked up to a giant video game where they would all be wizzes and my friends and my family would just be players, all stuck in a game while my body fell in on itself, went rotten and died, and if I was lucky I could be stuck playing their game even after all that bullshit. Iteration X offered me a new pair of legs, some therapy for my arms, a bigger labspace, funding and a corner office with a view. Oh, and we can't forget the cute secretary with the perky little tits. The chance to make a better world was just gravy on that. Pure ham gravy."

—Albacastle, Mage: The Ascension - Convention Book: Iteration X (Revised)

The study pointed out a dangerous trend in U.S. society. A growing number of rich, supposedly respectable people were becoming involved in the narcotics trade not for the money, but for the lifestyle it provided. What organization could offer its members such unusual and varied experiences as group sex in Manhattan with ten-year-olds, boys and girls, a Black Mass in the heart of Rome, gladiatorial combat in Central Africa between men and pythons, or pursuing headhunters in the remote regions of Brazil? As the author of the study pointed out, for the man who has everything, Tiger offered the ultimate in escape from boredom.

— The Executioner, "Tiger War"

"Now just what could you offer any man to make him join your outfit?" demanded Costigan, venomously.
"Many things," Roger's cold tone betrayed no emotion, no recognition of Costigan's open and bitter contempt. "I have under me many men, bound to me by many ties. Needs, wants, longings, and desires differ from man to man, and I can satisfy practically any of them. Many men take delight in the society of young and beautiful women, but there are other urges which I have found quite efficient. Greed, thirst for fame, longing for power, and so on, including many qualities usually regarded as 'noble.' And what I promise, I deliver. I demand only loyalty to me, and that only in certain things and for a relatively short period. In all else, my men do as they please. In conclusion, I can use you two conveniently, but I do not need you. Therefore you may choose now between my service and...the alternative."

— Triplanetary

"Hello, Edward. You don't have to be afraid of me. I know what it's like being different. Only they won't pick on you anymore... or beat you up. I'll see to that. All you have to do is take my hand. Go on, Edward. Take my hand!"

—Jerry Dandridge offering to make Evil Ed' a vampire, Fright Night (1985)

"You may feel powerless now, but soon you will watch the fear in men's eyes. As captain of my Furies your fame will spread throughout the universe. You will see the fiercest warriors flee your presence. Armies brought to your knees. Entire nations crumble at the mention of your name. You will know power you would've never known on Earth. Never again will you be lost. From now on you will be at my side. Forever mine, forever Darkseid's."

— Darkseid to Kara Zor-El, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Vilos Cohaagen: Richter, you know why I'm such a happy person?
Richter: No, sir.
Cohaagen: Because I have one of the greatest jobs in the solar system. As long as the turbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything!

— Total Recall (1990)

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