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If you are seeing this picture of Klavier Gavin, you have just lost your virginity. NO EXCEPTIONS!
If you have seen Labyrinth, then you are not a virgin. In fact, if you've seen Labyrinth, then you never were a virgin. It's the power of David Bowie's Area that, even through a recording, even in a family friendly movie, it can reach out and completely burn your virginity from the fabric of space and time. If you ever will see the movie Labyrinth, then you're not a virgin on credit, because your virginity will be retroactively destroyed in the future. In short, the moment that David Bowie appeared in that movie, in those tights, his Area became super powered, and devirginized the entire world.
The less Squick-inducing cousin to the Memetic Molester, this is a character who, in fandom's eyes, can instantly get laid by giving anyone a look and a suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows. This character may be a Casanova, a Chivalrous Pervert, a Femme Fatale, a Leisure Suit Larry or a Kavorka Man (or maybe even a Chaste Hero) in-canon, but in the wilds of fandom, the character's a Pornomancer.
Often, this takes the form of "Everyone is (blank) for (blank)".
The distinction between this and Memetic Molester is that while the Memetic Molester will lay anyone whether they want it or not, this is the character whom everyone wants to lay, no exceptions. The difference lies in the active party.
Examples:
Anime and Manga
Comic Books
- Storm of the X-Men is considered this among some circles. Man, Woman, Alien, if it has a pulse (and occasionally not even that) people are hot for her and the attentions are oft returned.
- Being a living goddess might have something to do with that.
- AND WOLVERINE, YOU FOOLS!
- A trilogy of Storm, Wolverine and Rogue is better than... than... gah, I fail at similes.
- Why only three? Make it a foursome! Add Gambit in the lot!
- And don't forget Mystique!
- Tony freakin Stark. Billionaire genius playboy with a super-suit. 'Nuff said.
- Wizard once published... uhhm... let's call it a "frak-chart" that showed the reach of Stark's penis (going with the theory that if you sleep with someone you've basically slept with everyone they've ever slept with). It went up to Galactus. Here's the link
.
- Nightwing. There isn't a man or woman alive who doesn't want to tear those tights off and boff him silly or wants him to tear their clothes off and boff them silly.
- Warren Ellis.
Film
- In the words of the Nostalgia Chick, "I think there was a study once about how sixty percent of the girls in America lost their virginity solely because of watching David Bowie in this movie."
- The Joker. Hey, what is Nightmare Fuel Unleaded to some might be Fetish Fuel to others.
- Everyone Is Bi for Frank N Furter.
- Everyone wants to get with Gaston. Except for Belle.
- Graverobber in Repo. For proof, Youtube "come up and try my new parts".
- Nathan, for being a horribly broken shell of a man who moonlights as a legally sanctioned assassin, manages to have quite a large fanbase ready to jump his bones at the drop of a scalpel.
- Everyone is Furry for Tai Lung. Everyone.
- Why has Bela Lugosi's Dracula
◊ not been mentioned yet? The man's portrayal paved the road for Vampires Are Sex Gods
- Nero and, to a lesser extent, Ayel from the new Star Trek movie tend to get this, when they're not being portrayed as Memetic Molesters. The extent to which either is being portrayed as a Woobie (or, in Nero's case, Woobie Destroyer Of Worlds) tends to determine whether they're molesters or sex gods. Either way, someone's going to wind up in their pants. Quite often each other.
- Spoofed in one of the few high points of the movie Fanboys.
Shatner: It's all there; maps, pass codes."
How did you score all this stuff?
Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner. I can score anything.
- The Bear Jew always tops.
Literature
Live Action TV
- The Doctor of Doctor Who is a part canonical, part Mutation example. Nearly every single one of his numerous companions can be said to have been in love with him with little creative interpretation, not to mention recurring characters (the Master, especially), one-time characters and even people met or mentioned in passing. In fandom this ranges from being an intensely charming and charismatic person that attracts everyone whether intentionally or not, to a Casanova surpassing even Jack who seeks to shag everyone in time and space at least once.
- The fact that his Gallifreyan regenerations only cause there to be neverending new facets to his personalit[ies] only adds to the effect. One can only imagine what kind of distaff counterpart situations will arise once/assuming his daughter starts her own regenerations.
- Jack Harkness is probably the reason why Everyone Is Bi in Torchwood. (Well, the women don't need to be bi to want him, but they are anyway.
Maybe he's walking aphrodisiac.)
- On the same lines, David Tennant. Not the Doctor; David Tennant. Going so far as to snog Davina McCall on live television for just Ł50 to charity.
- Fitting then that he has been both the Doctor and Casanova.
- Generation Kill gives us "Fruity" Rudy Reyes.
"It doesn't make you gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot. Jesus, you're beautiful."
- Dean Winchester of Supernatural has demons whispering in his ear that he's "just edible," human women helping him escape prison just because he bats his pretty lashes, and angels... Well, the man has cut himself a slice of angel food cake. Is it any surprise that fandom tells Chuck Norris jokes about him - "Dean Winchester once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands." - and regards him as the Little Black Dress?
- Everyone wants Spike. Everyone!
- Ace Rimmer of Red Dwarf... What a Guy! He's also one in universe.
- Lord Flasheart from Blackadder... Woof!
- Major Edrington, the snarky, aristocratic redcoat in the Horatio Hornblower TV movies. Despite only appearing in the fourth movie of the first series, he's the fandom's Little Black Dress. Maybe it's the uniform...
- Everyone is robo for Cameron.
- Brazilian soap opera actor José Mayer. "Zé Mayer Facts" about his superhuman sexual prowess became popular, specially on Twitter:
Rock stars often autograph fans' breasts. Jose Mayer autograph uteruses.
Seven days after José Mayer watched The Ring, he got a phone call. It was Samara, saying she was pregnant.
José Mayer gave a bailout to all the world's sperm banks.
José Mayer is the reason DNA tests are only 98% accurate.
Mythology
- Apollo really, really gets around. A lot.
Tabletop Games
- Slaaneshi daemons in Warhammer and Warhammer 40000 are a paradoxical version of this that borders on Mind Screw; viewing them will cause you to want them, even if you recognise them as the warp-spawned monstrosities that they are. Slaanesh being the god of (among other things) lust, beauty and desire certainly doesn't hurt... though since the 'other things' include pleasure through unutterable pain and torture, the paradox occurs again.
Video Game
- Klavier Gavin from Ace Attorney. Be careful, you can lose your virginity just by looking at him.
- Etna can have the whole world begging for more.
- Everyone is gay for Bridget.
- And it seems that Arc System is doing it again with Guilty Gear's spiritual sequel. While it depends on your interpretation of what's really under that hood, based on the amount of fanart available online, it might be possible that everyone is a furry for Taokaka.
- Riku (for starters) in Kingdom Hearts.
- For starters? I like to say that Kingdom Hearts made me gay. Riku started it (the bastard!)
- The Legend Of Zelda: Everyone is Poe Collector for Link.
- If you can play Metal Gear Solid 3 without wanting Big Boss to have tender sex with you — whether you're male, female, straight, gay or whatever — you're simply not a correctly functioning human being. He's the Bridget of the new generation.
- And in this, as in all other things, Solid Snake is an exact clone of Big Boss.
- Everyone is Leon for Wolf. Super Smash Bros. Brawl confirmed it.
- In Gensokyo, Marisa is so manly, she can charm many of the girls, including Alice, Patchouli, Nitori, Flandre, Kourin, and many, many more. She stole all their Precious Things!
- Everyone is pedo for Presea.
- Elizabeth would like to see your room....
- Sephiroth, just, Sephiroth.
- Nobody can resist the Original Weighted Companion Cube.
- Final Fantasy X. Jecht, if the Dissidia forums are anything to go by.
- Hell, the You Tube comments are rife with girls (and guys!) proclaiming their love for Jecht's sheer manly awesome.
- In a game where most of the male characters look feminine, and most of those that don't wear full body armour, Jecht stands out for a) Being uncompromisingly manly and b) Showing it off at any given opportunity. The full-torso J tattoo doesn't exactly harm matters.
- Everyone's necrophiliac for Auron.
- Everyone is necro for Sylvanas.
- If you're female and you love Myst, you probably are a Sirrus fangirl. Because Sirrus will not be defeated! Every, and I mean every female Myst fan is a whore for Sirrus...
- One glance from Date Masamune's good eye will have you lusting after him for the rest of eternity. I guarantee it.
- Everyone wants a piece of Aniki. Everyone.
- It's a fact, Seccom Masada is the sexiest 16-bit sprite in existence!
- Everyone is either loli for Alma, or hot for her adult form. And if you aren't, that's too bad for you.
- Everyone is anything that Minamimoto and Konishi of The World Ends With You wants them to be.
- Bang Shishigami's sheer manliness will make you want to "Bang Install" him.
- Ellis from the (currently) unreleased Left 4 Dead 2 seems to be a target of this.
- Long-haired beam-sabre wielding pretty-looking Badass coming through people, step aside and take your number.
Webcomics
Web Original
Western Animation
- Meanwhile, everyone is furry for Gadget.
- Kim Possible: She can do
anyone anything. The slash fiction says everyone wants her, and forum caption threads claim she leaves them broken and spent as she still demands more.
- Robot example- Starscream is like a doorknob- everyone gets a turn.
- Just looking at Wang Fire will get you pregnant.
- Sokka in his non-Wang Fire mode gets a lot of this too, as a result of his catching the attention of no less than four reasonably prominent named characters (two of which, Suki and Princess Yue, were actual relationships; one of which (Ty Lee), was a crush he was aware of; and one of which (Toph), he was not aware of).
- If you aren't turned on by either Zuko or Azula, and probably both, you are likely asexual.
Did they have to draw her lips so juicy looking?
- And on that note, Aang. He's the master of ALL your elements.
- Quagmire will "Giggity Giggity Goo" you in one of his many beds, much to your enjoyment, of course.
- And if not, then at least he can fall back on Roofie Coladas.
- Dr. Ivo Robotnik, thanks to Youtube Poop. It doesn't help that his designer was set out to make him "the world's sexiest fat man".
- Everybody is Vladsexual. Also, fandom pairs Danny with everyone.
- Stupid Sexy Flanders.
- But no-one's gay for Moleman.
- "Try it, it's like kissing a peanut!"
- Rikuo is curiously atractive for a scaly fish guy.
- Charles Foster Offdensen. Right up until season three there were probably a few people who could have resisted his Bad Ass Battle Butler appeal. Now there are none.
Real Life
- Pretty much anyone sufficiently notable in the entertainment industry manages this, but that's what happens when you choose people for looks, pay them millions of dollars, and make them immensely famous.
- George Zimmer, Founder and CEO of The Men's Wearhouse. Legends of his godlike endowment and sexual prowess are matched only by the immaculate make of his suits.
- Richard
Feynman .
- Nick Cave.
- Rasputin.
- John Dillinger.
- "Bruce Campbell once made a woman climax by saying, "Groovy." Her husband climaxed, too." — Brucefacts.com
- There is no such thing as straight men, just men who have not heard of John Barrowman.
- Alan Rickman is said to have a charm no one can resist.
- Gackt. The guy has chemistry with everyone he's ever met. There are a great many blokes who would gladly make an exception for him, so great is his GAR-ness. Observe some proof.
- What, no mention of Chuck Norris?
- Tarkan
the Turkish Prince of Pop. It doesn't help that he keeps hinting that he's bisexual.
- Everyone wants Johnny Depp. Everyone.
- Let's not forget the ultimate political Memetic Sex Gods, Bill Clinton and his idol, John F Kennedy (who was also an actual Casanova).
- Nathan Fillion. How the hell is he not on here already?!
- Everyone is lesbian for Angelina Jolie.
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