Diaries Are Girly

Calling it "Captain's Log" is even manlier.

"First of all, I want to get something straight: this is a journal, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover but when Mom went out to buy this thing, I specifically said to make sure it didn't say 'diary' on it. So don't expect me to be all 'dear diary this' and 'dear diary that.'"

— Greg Heffley (the opening words), Diary of a Wimpy Kid

When you think of the kind of people who write diaries, which are the first to come to mind? For many outside of academic circles, it would typically be a (pre-)teen girl, probably giggling while writing about a classmate she has a crush on (complete with Love Doodles and scrawls of "Mrs. Hypothetical"). Naturally, these are not the only people who write in diaries, but the stigma still sticks, often leading to boys and men insisting that they write in a log or journal instead.

A variation of this may apply to Tomboys, who might believe that Real Women Don't Wear Dresses. Whether she's ashamed of it or not, this may be an indicator that she has a girly streak, especially if it has a cutesy cover.

This is a rather new trope, as many men in history (such as Samuel Pepys) kept diaries and referred to them as such. It's also a fairly complex issue with its roots in historical conceptions of 'diary' and gender roles down through history. "Diary" comes from the Latin word for daily and originally meant more like a daybook; a minister's record of events, or a ship captain's log. Diaries became increasingly gendered around Jane Austen's time, the early 19th century (although she called them "journals" and used the word "journaling"). In the post-World War II era, inexpensive diaries were marketed to boys and girls, obvious by their cover illustrations which was which. By the mid-20th century, diaries were reimagined and marketed as a tool of female liberation and independence, partly inspired by The Diary of a Young Girl and by Anais Nin. No self-respecting manly man would be caught dead writing in one.

To qualify for this trope, a female/feminine character owning a diary has to be explicitly tied to their femininity. Similarly, male/masculine characters averting it is not noteworthy unless this notion is specifically denounced by the narrative or characters.

Subtrope of Women Are Delicate and Men Are Tough; writing for the purpose of expressing or reconciling their feelings is considered feminine while taking a journal for practical purposes is considered masculine. This is typically a Secret Diary, which can overlap with Unmanly Secret.

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Examples

Comic Books

• Archie Comics: When Jughead started keeping a journal in his self-titled comic, he tells himself something like "Diaries are for girls...I'll call this a journal."
• Robin (1993): Of the two protagonists the book carried for most of its run, it is the girl, Stephanie, whose narration boxes are presented as diary entries while Tim's narration boxes contain his internal dialog.
• In The Flash (Infinite Frontier), Jai Allen insists that he doesn't keep a diary, it's an action log.

Comic Strips

• Kudzu: Kudzu keeps a journal and is seen updating it in one strip. His uncle Dub points out to Kudzu that diaries are girly. Kudzu responds that it's a journal. Then Reverend Will B. Dunn arrives and comments, "Bet he's got real purdy handwritin'."

Films — Live-Action

• In Vacation, James Griswold (the more sensitive of Rusty Griswold's sons) shows his dad the bundle of notebooks he's bringing along to write during the road trip, including a "dream diary". Immediately, Kevin (Rusty's younger son and a colossal bully to James) points out the diary, calls him gay, and destroys the notebooks. Rusty just stands there and lets it happen.

Literature

• In the first book of Bert Diaries, Bert thinks diaries are girly and tries to make his diary less girly by drawing a skull on it. (First he tried drawing a brain, but it ended up looking like a bunch of sausages.)
• Discussed in George Carlin's book Braindroppings:
  For a long time it was all right for a woman to keep a diary, but it sounded too fruity for men. So they changed it to journal. Now sensitive men can set down their thoughts without appearing too sensitive.
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid:
  • Protagonist Greg Heffley insists on calling his diary a journal, despite the cover saying otherwise, to avoid being called a sissy.
  • Rowley, on the other hand, proudly owns a diary that's clearly designed for little girls, a "Sweet Secrets Diary" that has hearts on the cover. Greg is desperate to find out what Rowley writes about, but the cover has a lock on it, so Greg convinces his Dad to buy an identical diary so he can use the key to open Rowley's. Mr. Heffley, unaware of this plan, is not happy about this.
• Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Draco Malfoy mocks Harry for having a diary, seen when Harry's bag was split open by a singing valentine pulling on it as he tried to flee, implicitly due to being a girly thing to have. Harry hadn't had it in his possession for long and his interest in it was more because the diary had been tossed into a toilet yet had emerged undamaged. Previously, it had been in the possession of Ginny Weasley, who had poured her heart out to it due to her pining for Harry. The diary turns out to have been the diary of one Tom Marvolo Riddle, a sixth-year Slytherin from fifty years prior. He also goes by the name of Lord Voldemort, and the diary turned out to be one of his six Horcruxes.
• The title character of Henry Reed specifically says that he is writing a journal as a diary is for girls.
• Jays Journal: Jay insists at the beginning that this is just a journal, not a diary — and that he wouldn't be using it very often. But a year later, he pours his feelings into it, writes poems, and even gushes about his new girlfriend. It becomes his only friend.
• Averted in The Saga of Darren Shan: the books "are" Darren's diaries, he calls them such and never has any issues with the term. It's one of the many ways that the series, and the protagonist in particular, gently rejects the boundaries of "masculine" behavior. He also cries a lot.

Live-Action TV

• In cancelled Brazilian sketch comedy show Casseta & Planeta, Urgente!, there was a recurring sketch called "Diário de um Macho" ('A Macho Man's Diary'), about the daily adventures of two Testosterone Poisoning characters, Maçaranduba and Montanha. Every episode started with Maçaranduba's voiceover dictation to his diary. The humour was in that he began his narration with the words "Dear Diary", but thought that the word "dear" was "girly" (to put it mildly), and replaced it with another word that denoted masculinity.
• Davis from Corner Gas writes in a journal, not a diary. It has a lock on it like a diary, but it's totally different!
• Interview with the Vampire (2022): In "...The Ruthless Pursuit of Blood with All a Child's Demanding", Claudia is a teenage girl who diligently records her thoughts and feelings about the minutiae of her daily life in her diaries, which all have pretty covers. She narrates her entries with a singsong voice and is very expressive. The set of three "Dear Diary" promos further underline her girly side with a flower in the corners of the border and cute doodles (including Love Doodles around Charlie's name, a young man she has a big crush on).
• Peacemaker (2022): After Leota plants a diary in Peacemaker's home implicating him as a Conspiracy Theorist (a move intended to make him the team's Fall Guy afterwards), the titular Peacemaker (an overly-manly Captain Patriotic) scoffs that he wouldn't own a diary in the first place. If he kept something like that it would be a journal.
• Saturday Night Live: In one sketch, some tough guys at a pool hall get emotional listening to the song "Driver's License", and one of them mentions his diary before rephrasing it to sound less girly:
  "It's like she ripped a page out of my diary— I mean notebook— I mean plain brown leather— I can't read or write!"
• Scrubs: The title of Season 4's eleventh episode, "My Unicorn," refers to a diary J.D. is gifted by Mr. Marks that has a cartoon unicorn on the cover^note  (which ends up talking to J.D. in a few Imagine Spots throughout the episode) . Cox compares J.D to a little girl for keeping it.
• The Suite Life On Deck: In "Any Given Fantasy", Cody, sick of being mocked enlists Kirby to teach him about football. At one point Cody complains the exercise is cramping his diary-writing hand, to which Kirby sneers that "men don't keep diaries." Though a later episode would reveal Kirby himself keeps a daily diary, which could be a Continuity Snarl, or Kirby being a Hypocrite.
• The Vampire Diaries: In the pilot, Elena drops her diary in the cemetery. When Stefan returns the diary, he mentions having one too. Noticeably, his book is called a journal and not a diary.

Podcasts

• KC from Eidolon SKA is a trans girl in the seventies who, at the start of the series, isn't aware of that fact despite being aware that she's different from the guys. She's fiercely protective of her diary where she writes about these struggles, and she makes a point of calling it a diary and not a journal.

Radio

• At the beginning of the Adventures in Odyssey episode "Family Vacation, Part 1", Jimmy Barclay begins his journal by citing this trope as why he's not calling it a diary (which his teacher told her students to write over the summer).

Theatre

• A Very Potter Senior Year: In contrast to canon, Tom Riddle refers to his diary as a "journal", because "diaries are for girls".

Toys

• Monster High dolls typically come with a booklet made to look like a composition notebook. The Ghouls' booklets are typically referred to as "diaries", while the Mansters' are referred to as "journals."

Video Games

• Chibi-Robo! has Sophie the toy caterpillar, who keeps a diary in which she writes about her crush on Drake Redcrest, a toy superhero. Telly's reaction to her delaying talking to him and Chibi-Robo to write in her diary is an exasperated, "Girls and their diaries!"
• The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: In the "Champion's Ballad" DLC, Link finds Daruk's diary, and in it, he keeps insisting that it's not a diary but a training journal, even though it's absolutely a diary.
• Love, Sam: The video game actually plays with the audience's expectations regarding the trope. The game is played in first-person through the player character reading a series of diary entries that detail a teen's crush, later jealous obsession with a boy named Brian or "B". Since the player character model isn't shown, based on the writing in the journal, the game leads you to believe you are the titular Sam, the new girl who moved in from out of town who starts dating Brian, or Stacy, a Cruel Cheerleader who hangs out with Brian. You're neither. You are actually reading two separate journals. One does belong to Sam, but the obsessive Stalker with a Crush one belongs to Jerk Jock Kyle, Brian's best friend who is secretly in love with him and jealous of Sam. Piecing together who the diary actually belongs to and who you are playing as is one of the major twists in the game.

Web Animation

• Inanimate Insanity Invitational: Implied in "The Overthinkers". Yang reveals that Yin keeps a "brain diary" and mocks him for it, calling him "[s]ome sort of loser who writes", but reluctantly agrees to take one up himself on Candle's suggestion. Later in the episode, when Yin reveals Yang's intentions to make a "boys' club", Yang tells him to "[s]tay out of [his] brain journal".

Webcomics

• Spacetrawler: Krep mocks Martina for keeping a diary: "Diaries are for little girls!" Then Martina leaves the room, and Krep immediately begins writing in his own diary:
  Krep: Dear diary, I'm so sorry. I slandered you in spirit, but I had my badass image to uphold.
• The End: Kaitlyn teases Henri about his "journal".
  Kaitlyn: Ah yes, a journal... the insecure man's 🌼diary🌸.

Western Animation

• Doug: The title character does not like it when his journal is called a diary. Though in a case of Early-Installment Weirdness, he used to start his entries with "Dear Diary".
• The Fairly OddParents!: In "A Bad Case of Diary-Uh!", as Timmy and Wanda are about to sneak a peek into Vicky's diary, Cosmo retorts "A diary is where a girl...and me...can express their feelings without being judged."
• Family Guy: In one episode, Brian finds the diary of Pawtucket Pat, the founder of the Pawtucket Brewery. Stewie takes this as proof that "men too can have diaries." Brian snarks that Pat's diary doesn't have sparkles on the cover.
• Futurama: In "Zapp Gets Cancelled," while working as DOOP captain, Leela uses a "captain's diary" as opposed to Zapp Brannigan's typical "captain's log." Her entry includes text slang and an addendum about how cute her boyfriend looks, and she locks it with a key despite it being an audio log.
• Making Fiends: A Tomboy and Girly Girl contrast variant happens in the short "Dear Pretty Diary, Dear Stupid Journal" (from the episode "Shorts: Set 1"). Girly Girl Charlotte refers to her personal book as a diary, while Tomboy Vendetta calls hers (which is actually a fiend) a journal.
• The Simpsons: In one episode, Homer goes to buy a diary for Lisa. He brings Bart along with him. The store clerk assumes the diary is for Bart and makes a comment about him being gay.

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