Why Can’t The Perfect Girl Exist In 2022??? (Or A Complaint To My Inner Light) is an epic poem by Dav Pond, about Time-Travel Romance and Quakerism.
The Protagonist is Pond himself, and it’s a true story.
It’s known for its metaphor of viaducts to mean connections between the protagonist and the titular “perfect girl”.
Read it here: https://allpoetry.com/poem/16679396-Why-Can-t-The-Perfect-Girl-Exist-In-2022-----Or--A-Complaint-To-M-by-Dav-Pond
There are VIADUCTS between us...
Fate Drives Us Together: DEFINITELY.
Hair Flip: His perfect girl is a “professional hair flipper”. Technically The Truth.
Magical Girlfriend: What he thinks she is.
Punk Rock: The Protagonist describes himself as “A teenage punk. Listens to The Dead Milkmen on full blast all night. A wannabe Keith Moon.”
The Quincy Punk: The Protagonist.
Viaducts Of Fate: VY A DUCK??? VY NO A CHICKEN??? (Sorry, we couldn’t help it.) Also, he is from a province known for its viaducts and she is from a city known for its viaducts.
Sweetie Graffiti: “I wrote our initials on a ping-pong table. With a ping-pong paddle.”
Time-Travel Romance: Not the “time TRAVEL” part, obviously, but WHAT THIS WHOLE POEM IS ABOUT.
When the Planets Align: The planets WERE aligned at the time that Dav Pond wrote this poem.
