Bark, George is a 1999 children's storybook by Jules Feiffer.
A puppy named George is learning how to bark, but for some reason, he can't manage it; each time he tries, he ends up meowing, quacking, oinking, and mooing. His mom takes him to the vet, who asks him to try and bark. The same thing happens, so the vet reaches inside the pup, and pulls out a cat, a duck, a pig, and a cow. Once all the animals are out of his system, George finally barks, much to his mother's elation.
An animated short film based on the book
, narrated by John Lithgow, was released in 2003.
Followed by Smart George (in which George learns to count) in 2020.
This book provides examples of:
- Ambiguously Absent Parent: George's dad is nowhere to be seen.
- Bigger on the Inside: How else would you explain the pig and the cow getting inside George?
- Black Bead Eyes: George and his mother have black dots for eyes, but they gain sclerae to express strong emotions.
- Eat the Camera: In the animated version, when the vet tells George to bark and he moos, the camera zooms into the pup's open mouth.
- Expressive Hair: The vet's ponytail goes upward in joy when George finally barks.
- Faint in Shock: George's mother faints dead away after the vet pulls the cow out of George's mouth.
- Getting Eaten Is Harmless: Assuming that George managed to eat all those animals, they didn't die from his stomach acids, and they're fine when they're taken out of his body.
- Here We Go Again!: On the way home from the vet's office, George's mom asks him to bark for the people passing by. So George opens his mouth and says... "Hello!"
- "I Can't Look!" Gesture: George's mother covers her eyes when the vet reaches into George's gullet for the final time.
- Incorrect Animal Noise: The story consists of a puppy making different animal sounds when learning to bark.
- Lantern Jaw of Justice: The vet who helps remove the animals from George's gullet has a huge chin.
- Nearly Normal Animal: George's mother isn't bipedal, but she can talk and can apparently file appointments with a veterinarian.
- Oh, Crap!: George looks very nervous when the veterinarian puts on his longest latex glove.
- Quaking with Fear: In the short film, George's mother trembles nervously before the vet pulls the cow out of George.
- The Quiet One: The only word George says in the whole story is "Hello!"
- Stomach of Holding: George manages to keep a cat, a pig, and a cow inside his stomach, and the vet pulls them out, completely intact.
- Suddenly Speaking: George doesn't say a single word throughout most of the story (save for when he makes the wrong sounds), except at the end, when he says, "Hello."
- Vague Age: It's not clear exactly how old George is supposed to be — a few weeks, or several months, or whatever.
- Voice Change Surprise: Played with. George himself doesn't seem surprised when he makes the sounds of other animals; he does look shocked, however, when the vet pulls all those other animals. The vet and George's mother look surprised, as well.
- Volumetric Mouth: George opens his mouth to its absolute widest when the vet reaches in for the last time.
- Worst Aid: Reaching down someone's throat will not help get something out of their stomach; they'll probably just gag. As such, in real life, George would have had to get surgery.
