Headscratchers / Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen
Is it just me, or the whole Snoofles/Jasper fan-reactions smell of Unfortunate Implications? Sure, necromantic-bestiality is not exactly flattering in the first place, but still compared to the crazy rapist uncle and Jacob's "mushroom"...
I think the stronger reactions to Snoofles and Jasper are mostly due to shock value. Lots of badfics (and even a lot of goodfics) use rape as a plot point, and there are also plenty of fics - good and bad - that use strange or just plain terrible metaphors for sexual organs. But a talking panda and a suddenly homosexual vampire?
Why exactly does nobody react to what is happening to Tiaa when Larry has her after he got her to wash his car? I mean, it's said to happen 'for hours', surely there'd be SOME sort of reaction, wouldn't there?
They were probably watching it.
How the entire story came to exist.
Okay, there's Auto Erotica in the backseat of Snoofles' car while Tiaa is driving - wait, they fit the panda in the backseat for a three-way? What does Snoofles drive, a Freightliner?
Why does Edward sit with the cheerleaders in the lunchroom and not with the rest of the Cullens? And for that matter, where are the rest of the Cullens? The only other one we ever see is Jasper, and only at Pablo Nightmare.
Where is literally everyone? Weirdly this fic features almost all of the human characters (Eric, Lauren, Jessica, Angela) and almost none of the vampires or werewolves. Maybe it's a fic on just the first novel, where the cast is relatively small, but still.
How did Uncle Larry afford a red Porsche? I always pictured him as a Lower-Class Lout. Maybe he's richer than I thought?
He bought a barn-find with a seized engine and rotted interior, and restored it over the course of several years.