Also the way they start being described as a minor inconvenience; "And then he made me cook his dinner and suck his cock while he ate his dinner and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night and I didn't even complain." - WHAT?
"and hit me with a shoe all night..." Is there a trope for misaimed funny?
Fetish Retardant: We defy even the most rabid of Edward fans to find anything attractive about Tiaa's surreal and horrifying descriptions of him "doing sex on her".
Tiaa sings "Total Eclipse of the Heart" at the school's talent contest. The song's author, Bonnie Tyler, has declared that he wrote that to be a vampire love song. Of course this might be a coincidence, but...
Jerkass Woobie: Tiaa. Yeah, she's a Jerkass of epic proportions and she seems to think beating people up is fine as long as she's the one doing it, but it's easy to feel sorry for her when she gets repeatedly screwed by Uncle Larry. When you're done laughing, that is.
Nightmare Retardant: A young girl repeatedly beaten and raped by her abusive uncle should be horrifying. However the writing screws that. "The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small."
Ron the Death Eater: Or rather, Jacob the psychotic, drooling, kinky "Werewolf King". Whatever your opinion on the canon Jacob may be, is he really the type of guy to abduct a girl, strip her, chain her to a chair and rub her knees with his "mushroom-like" genitals?