Funny / Twice Upon a Time

  • Synonamess Botch's "inspiring" speech to his vultures in the more-profane Bill Couterie cut of the film:
    Botch: I just wanna say a few words to you scumbags before you deliver those nightmares. I know some of you have girlfriends and old ladies, and all that kind of crap, and you're probably expecting to get into their feathers tonight! Well, let me just say... tough shit! And for you jerk-offs who think you can hang around here on your fat asses, I have one last thing to say... go suck an egg!
  • Mumford vs. the computer in the Garbagery. "Please do not press my buttons."
  • Rod Rescueman introduces himself to the Fairy Godmother.
    FGM: And who are you?
    Rod: Rod Rescueman.
    FGM: And what does that tell me?
    Rod: My name!
    • Rod's resume. "It's a blank piece of paper, but it's notarized and legal size."
  • The Fairy Godmother's dry delivery while pretending to be a "Damsel in Distress, currently on fire."
  • This exchange, after Rod barges through the door to Greensleeves' cell, knocking it onto Greensleeves.
    Flora: Uncle Greeny, where are you?
    Greensleeves: I'm under the door, ya twits!
    Rod Rescueman: That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down.
  • After Greensleeves, whom Flora describes as "short and bent", showers his niece with kisses, an envious Rod says "I should get short and bent." Bonus points for being hit over the head by Ibor immediately afterwards.