Funny: Tim Minchin
- Take your pick; his own favourite is Peace Anthem For Palestine, whose one verse is:
You don't eat pigsWe don't eat pigsIt seems it's been that way for everSo if you don't eat pigsAnd we don't eat pigsWhy not not-eat-pigs together?
- The ending of Canvas Bags.
Tim: BLACKOUT! Fuck yeah!
- The monotonous, completely deadpan way he sings the opening line of Some People Have It Worse Than I.
Tim: Well, I wake up in the morning at 11:47 and I can't believe I have to face the horror of another fucking day.
- The line in 'Thank You God (For Fixing The Cataracts of Sam's Mum)'
Fuck me, Sam! What are the odds?!
- From the Darkside Live album, just after the second chorus, the audience starts to clap along to the beat. Tim's about to launch into a solo, and he isn't pleased with the sudden participation.
Tim: People always start clapping then, but I'm about to do a solo and I can't keep time. *beat* So shut the fuck up.
Tim: Ah yeah, off-beat. Wicked.
- Another instance of Dark Side's solo clapping gets an especially dry reaction from Tim when the audience claps out of time with his playing.
- The entirety of Storm. This troper's favorite bit is when he rhymes "Carbon" with "Hard-on".
- In Song for Wossy, he concludes a line with 'I wanna make sweet love to ya, sweet love to ya wife." The look on Ross's face was priceless.
- Stone Her to Death!
- Five Poofs and Two Pianos
- Tim Minchin and the Heritage Orchestra: Free Jazz!
Audience Member: WE LOVE YOU!Tim: It's nice to see that you already nominated a spokesperson. And the consensus seems to be that you love me. That's incredible, that's, oh fuck off. Let's just skip the pleasantries and have an enormous orgy.
- When he talks to the audience:
It's nice to finally have my orchestra. I've always felt deep down that at the very least I deserve an entire symphony orchestra.
- Oh this, this is my orchestra.
The good thing about the royal wedding... *beat* Speaking of things I don't care about, this is my band!
- William and Kate got married the day of one of the performances:
The next song is about my is about doing this (performing) and only really applies to me—or other people with the same experiences as me—so it's rather self-indulgent. Which is really saying something considering I just performed a 7 1/2 minute song about cheese.
- Tim screwing with the conductor. And asking an audience member to rub one out in order to see if a spell he performed worked. Or at least tweet him the results.
- The amazingly large number of statistics fans in the audience.
- Tim has two guilty pleasures: wine because the money he spends on it could go towards immunizing children in poor countries (which is why he savors it) and cheese.
- Before the Tear Jerker that is "Beauty", Tim had this to say:
- Before performing the final song, Tim comments that he has always ended the show with the same song ("Darkside") and has been trying to come up with a better one and earlier that year he finally gave up.
- During the "Darkside": Free Jazz!
- After performing the Pope Song, a piano company in Dallas refused to let him actually borrow one, calling him a "God-hater" and "a demon".
- Tim's improvisational skills have keen timing as well - before playing "If I Didn't Have You" in Canada, his stand-up recieved an out-of-place "Woo!" following a string of digits. After calling the audience member "Rainman" he went on to perform "If I Didn't Have You", and then drilled into the aforementioned audience member with his eyes when he got to the "9.999 hundred thousand other loves" line.