- "That's right, bitches! I got a crossbow!"
- "I'm the black MacGyver — BlackGyver!"
- "You call me Legless Pooch again, and you'll be Headless Jensen."
- "I like Headless Jensen! It makes me sound like a pirate."
- "Is today just Stupid Question Day and nobody told me?"
- The scene in the van where Pooch makes Clay and Roque apologize to each other.
Pooch: Don't you two feel so much better?
Clay and Roque: No.
- The entire scene involving Jensen infiltrating the office building.
- "Her gun! It's pointed at my dick!"
- Pretty much ANYTHING that comes out of Jensen's mouth is a hoot.
- "Ready to take a giant step for...guys who steal stuff I guess."
- 'What the hell was that? That was a 'hit him in the face' nod, not a 'throw him off the roof' nod.' Max is an evil bastard, but damn if he isn't hilarious.
- Max: Do you have any fours? Scientist: Go fish? Max (looks at his hand, revealing he has several fours): Well, actually no, you have several fours here. You don't actually know how to play this game do you?
- Max getting mugged at the end. It makes it better just how nonchalantly he takes it.
- This exchange during the final confrontation between Clay & Max:
Max: "So, since you can't shoot me..."
Clay: * shoots Max in the shoulder *
- Or this exchange:
Roque: If anything smells like a trap, I get to put a bullet in your skull. Does that sound fair?
Aiyisha: That sounds like fun.
Jensen: Sounds like my parents.