Zazu getting crushed by a rhino at the end of "Just Can't Wait to Be King"
Zazu: I beg your pardon, madam, but... GET OFF!!
Earlier in the same song sequence, when Simba and Nala walk through an honor guard-style arrangement of zebras... who then promptly reverse face (literally) and show their butts, tails erect, to Zazu when he tries to follow the cubs.
Timon's absolute confusion when Nala and Simba reunite. After they were at each other's throats. And after she tried to eat Pumbaa, who, after pleasantries, seems to have completely forgotten about it. Which only confuses Timon more!
Simba: Nala, I'd like you to meet Pumbaa. Pumbaa, Nala.
Pumbaa: Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Nala: The pleasure's all mine!
Timon: How do you do.. Whoa! Whoa. Time out.. Lemme get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's... okay with this? DID I MISS SOMETHING?!
After Timon and Pumbaa meet Rafiki for the first time:
Timon: Hey, what's going on here? Who's the monkey? Nala: Simba's gone back to challenge Scar! Timon: Who? Nala: Scar. Pumbaa: Who's got a scar? Nala: No, no, no. It's his uncle. Timon: The monkey's his uncle? Nala: No! Simba's gone back to challenge his uncle to take his place as King! Timon and Pumbaa: Ohhhhhh...
The start of movie after the "Circle of Life" number which introduces Scar. After Zazu reprimands him for missing Simba's ceremony, he tries to eat him.
Mufasa: (Shows up) Scar...drop him. Zazu: (His beak pops out of Scar's mouth) Impeccable timing your majesty. (Scar spits him out)
In the very same scene above, we get this little dialogue after Scar walks out on Mufasa:
Zazu: There's one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions. Mufasa: What am I going to do with him? (meaning Scar) Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug. Mufasa: Zazu! Zazu:And just think, Whenever he gets dirty you can take him out and beat him.
Timon and Pumbaa's verse at the end of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight". Their genuine looking grief, and brusting into tears afterwards, for...nothing.
The Lion King 2
Nuka is always good for a laugh.
"Roasty toasty princess... roasty toasty princess... Hey, is it hot in here, or is that just me? Fire! Yowww!"
When Rafiki is worried about Kovu, Mufasa (in the form of the wind) implies to him that the solution is to hook Kovu and Kiara up. Rafiki thinks the idea is ridiculous and mocks Mufasa for it—until silenced by the wind. Even when dead, Mufasa has a great sense of humor (and gets his way).
Rafiki: What? Kovu...Kiara...together? This is the plan? (yells) Are you crazy? This will never work! Oh, Mufasa, you been up there too long. Your head is in the clouds! (Wind blows hard at Rafiki) Okay, okay, okay! Okay!
There's a game on the DVD called "Who Wants To Be King of the Jungle?". For one of Timon's lifelines, you have the option of calling up his mother, who proceeds to become very excited about talking to the hostess. She calls Uncle Max and says he has to take a picture of her.
Uncle Max: What picture? YOU'RE ON THE PHONE!
Timon and Pumbaa try to break Simba and Nala up unsuccessfully. First time, Timon fires a thorn like a dart gun at Nala, who gets her paw pricked. Simba plucks it out with a grin and tosses it back into the grass...where Timon yelping is heard.
The second one has Timon and Pumbaa drop a spider down to Simba and Nala...only for the spider to see a female spider and fall in love with her. Guess that plan was wrapped up.
The third one has Timon try to throw a beehive at the lions. He throws the hive...but the bees just stay in the air behind him, which leads to him getting stung. Epic Fail indeed.
At some point in "I Just Can't Wait to be King," Simba snatches Zazu (the puppet) away from its puppeteer. The puppeteer shoots an Oh Crap face at the audience and covers himself as if he is naked.
From the 2010 Calgary performance:
Timon: What do you think those stars are?
Pumbaa: I think they're giant balls of gas floating millions of miles away from us
Timon: ...Everything comes back to gas for you, doesn't it?
Zazu gets a lot more snark in this version than he does in the film. In particular, we have this exchange:
Scar: Here I am at the pinnacle and yet the view is bleak. What is wrong with this picture?
Zazu: You're in it, sire?
Another Zazu gem that soars right over the kids' heads:
Scar: Zazu, be serious! I'm in need of some bucking up!
Zazu: Oh, sire, you seem to be bucking up just fine without me!
Rafiki gives what appears to be a very long speech in Swahili. When she's done, she turns to the audience and asks "Do you understand?" After the resounding "no" she rolls her eyes and continues what she was doing.
Even funnier is that since said rant takes place during the making of Simba's portrait and right after the presentation on Pride Rock, it seems very clear Rafiki is talking about Simba and his birth. From some of the expressions and tones she uses, it's very possible part of this rant was about how Simba was conceived (complete with praise of Mufasa's prowess).
During one performance in London, Timon exits to the wrong side. Pumbaa just stands there staring for a few moments, before Timon hurries back on saying, "It's the other way." The entire audience cracked up laughing.