Funny / The Last Hero

• Albert's attempts to explain the Uncertainty Principle to Death, using a cat in a box.
  • The cat dies when the air runs out?
  • Things will have come to a pretty pass, Albert, if I did not know whether a thing was dead or alive without having to go and look.
  • Anyway, I don't hold with cruelty to animals.
    • The illustration of a kitten playing with Death of Rats's tail.
• They mention how one of the Silver Horde died by choking on a concubine. They meant cucumber. Hilarity Ensues.
  "Very important difference in a salad situation."
• One of the final scenes, where Cohen and the Silver Horde have finally died after falling off Cori Celesti into the equivalent of a nuclear explosion; the Valkyries turn up to take them to Valhalla, and they decide they don't feel like being dead, so they proceed to mug the Valkyries and steal their horses!
• "The Circulation of the Vomit" will leave you in stitches.
• Rincewind recalling the worst birthday present he ever received: A badge with the text "Hello, I Am Five Today!" On his sixth birthday, no less.
  • The mean little girl who popped his balloon when he was six, inspiring him to ask for a blue balloon as a reward from the gods.
  Rincewind: I don't like to talk about it.
• Also an awesome moment, but Rincewind, explaining why he's volunteering by refusing to volunteer for the mission, confuses the hell out of Vetinari. His logic: He does not want to go on the mission. But he is volunteering because he knows how his life works — if he tries to get out of it, he'll end up on the ship anyway, probably with a headache, so he's just going to save himself the trouble and go along with it.
  • And it gets turned into a moment of Awesome... Apart from Leonard using him for a few tests before the mission, nothing bad happens to him. And he's one of the few people that gets to see the Disc from space, with time to enjoy the view.
• The motto Rincewind comes up with for the space mission patch: Morituri nolumus mori. "We who are about to die don't want to."
  • And the fact that Vetinari keeps it, on the grounds that for a group trying to prevent an Earth-Shattering Kaboom, it isn't really that bad a motto.
• The Silver Horde's disguises. Cohen, wearing the head of a fish killed earlier, as God of Fish, Truckle as the Muse of Swearing, Boy Willie, with a tomato tied to his head and a carrot in his ear, as God of Being Sick Again (as there is already a Goddess of Being Sick), Caleb as the grumpiest God of Love in existence...
  • And Hamish as the God of Stuff.
  • The illustration of Cohen wearing his fish head.
  • Then the gods decide to humor them for a while. This leads to this conversation:
  Random God: (to Cohen) Ah, the God of Fish. And how are the fish, your mightiness?
  Cohen: Er... what? Oh... er... wet. Still very wet. Very wet things.
  Random Goddess: (to Hamish) And things? How are things?
  Hamish: Still lyin' aroond!
  Random Goddess: And are you omnipotent?
  Hamish: Aye, lass, but there's pills I'm takin' f'r it!
• Lord Vetinari's cold reaction to hearing from the Guild of Historians that one of Cohen the Barbarian's heroic traits is overthrowing tyrants, and then enquires about the different between raping and ravishing women.
• The gods witnessing the Bard confronting Nuggan for his utterly stupid Abominations. One of them whispers to Offler than he at least banned paunioplasty. He doesn't even know what it is, but it scares 'em, and that's good enough.
• Vetinari, a man who has tamed the untameable city of Ankh-Morpork, being utterly confounded by someone like Ponder. Apparently his only solution to people like this is to keep them busy with machinery. At the end of the scene detailing this, Vetinari even asks him if he needs some more machinery.
• Ponder, faced with the head wizards being head wizard-y (that is, obstructive and unhelpful), thinks what Vetinari would do in this situation, and tells them that if they want to really help, they should go off to another room and write down their ideas. Which they do, allowing Ponder to get to work on an actual solution. (And Vetinari's in the room watching this).
• The final scene of the book is both this and a moment of awesome: On their way off into the unknown, the Horde free Fingers Mazda, the first thief. Afterwards, thanks to a long eternity being tortured, he's not actually sure what just happened. He's not even sure it was real. What he does know is he's free, he's got a sword from somewhere, and that bloody eagle is coming... and he's going to enjoy himself.

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