Funny / The Homestuck Epilogues

For moments from the main series, go here.

Unmarked spoilers ahead!

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AO 3 Intro

• The entire first page of the Epilogues is chuckle-worthy for a number of reasons:
  • The build-up to the eventual release of the Epilogue was huge. After the controversial Act 7 animation, the fandom waited with baited breath to see what the mysterious promised "Epilogue" was; the speculation was only fueled by Word of God that the "post-canon content" of [S] Credits was not the epilogue. Time passed, the fandom shrank, and people began to wonder if the promised conclusion would ever arrive. And then, three years to the day after the release of Act 7 (and ten years to the day after the debut of Homestuck itself), the Homestuck Epilogues finally dropped. Thousands of fans eagerly clicked the link, and the very first piece of new, official content since 2016 was...a fake title page for an Archive of Our Own fanfiction, complete with character list and content warnings! To say that it wasn't what the fandom expected would be the understatement of the millennium.
    • Even better is that the format change makes complete sense! Not only are the Epilogues (or at least the first few pages) written up instead of illustrated, but the characters are now located outside of canon! Of course the story would now be formatted like a fanfiction!
  • The character list, along with a number of major characters from the main story, includes Barack Obama of all people.
  • The list of tags, confirmed to be a real list of topics which will be featured or at least alluded to in the Epilogues; while many of them are serious content warnings (albeit most of them for things that have already been featured or at least alluded to in the main story), it can also earn some chuckles both for its sheer length and for some of the out-of-context tags. One has to wonder what kind of shenanigans will occur to warrant content warnings for things such as:
    Breastmilk (with "Milking" also being featured)
    Clown Dynamics (with "Honk" and "Clown" also being featured)
    Diapers
    Feet
    Gerrymandering
    Vore
    Bimboification
    Reality Television
    Ovipositioning
    Super PACs
    Early 20th Century Dance Movements
    • Said tag list also has "Canon Compliance" and "Canon Divergence" right next to each other.

Prologue

• The sheer fact that, in what might be a subtle self-deprecating nod to the series' own extended length, the Epilogues have a prologue.
• After John awakens from a legitimately disturbing dream sequence recapping the events of Act 7 (particularly the destruction of the Green Sun via supermassive black hole), we get this spectacular line:
  You’ve been dreaming in anime again. And you have no idea what it could mean.

Candy

• Rose and Kanaya raise a clone of Vriska, who they literally just name Vriska.
• John and Roxy named their child Harry Anderson.
• (Vriska)'s pure disgust at having made out with Gamzee.
• (Vriska) and Vriska have an honest discussion about feelings... while sitting on Gamzee’s corpse.
• Dave ascends to his Ultimate Self with the help of Barack Obama, of all people.
• Apparently Barack Obama had a relationship with a Dirk Strider, presumably Bro.

Meat

• The entirety of Dave and Karkat's conversation in Chapter 2, where Dave admits that the reason he wants Karkat to run against Jane is, at least partially, because of Obama.
  Karkat: DAVE, I THINK WE’VE COVERED YOUR “OBAMA’S SECRET SESSION OF SBURB” THEORY WELL ENOUGH ALREADY.
  • This becomes even funnier when you read Candy and find out that this actually happened. Or if you've read Candy first and already knew that.
• Apparently, Jade went through her entire childhood thinking that Barack Obama, Snoop Dogg and Nicholas Cage were fictional characters.
• Alternate Calliope's narration demonstrates how she is the exact opposite of her brother in nearly every way... except for how she is infatuated with the spiral sucker juju.
• Dirk's genuine annoyance at Alternate Calliope's inaccuracies about katanas. And the fact that she continues to be wrong after he interjects, intentionally, just to piss him off.
• Dirk spends an entire page attempting to coerce Dave and Karkat into a relationship. Especially hilarious when you consider how he's been able to flawlessly manipulate the entire cast until this very moment.
  • During which, Dave drops a joke that, given Dirk's fashion sense, was a long time coming.
  Dave: so what youre saying is believe in me who believes in you
  Dirk: Dave. Please.

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