Jethro and Pearl are driving in the truck to Jed's place. Pearl can't help but notice there seems to be something wrong with the braking system.
Pearl: Jethro? Jethro: Yes, Momma? Pearl: Did you take care of those old bare as bones brakes like I told you? Jethro: [cheerfully] 'Course. I pulled 'em off yesterday! [beat] The new ones are comin' in the mail next week! (cue Pearl wailing in terror)
And the ultimate result: Jethro running the truck right into the Clampetts' outhouse. Three guesses as to who's inside.
Granny: [slapping him] You dog-blamed simple-minded hay hoop! Your plum-cluckin' head's emptier'n last year's bird's nest!
Granny (who is currently tied to her rocking chair) getting knocked off from Jethro's car by the tree branch they're driving under.
For those who don't understand why she's tied up, she refused to move with the rest of the family to California and said nobody would move her from her rocking chair, so what does Jed do? He ties rope around the chair and puts her on the car. Doubles as a Mythology Gag, as it's taken directly from the series pilot.
Granny: I like it here! Say what you will, but there ain't nothin' you can do to get me outta this rockin' chair! [Gilligan Cut to:] Granny: I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose! Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive!
The Clampetts being flipped off by an irate motorist, and mistaking the gesture for a friendly form of greeting.
Another set of motorists later holler at the Clampetts for cutting them off, to which they respond with a friendly flip-off. The gangbanger in the passenger's seat pulls out a pistol on the Clampetts...
Jed: [looks] That's real nice, son! [pulls out shotgun] This here's what I carry!
Tyler turning the office into a disaster area, while trying to walk to Mr. Drysdale's office.
The gathering of the Clampett relatives contains a little Take That!.
Clampett Relative: (to the reverend) Reverend, you think Cousin Bill's not gonna be too busy to make it to the wedding?
President Clinton: (with "Hail to the Chief over a shot of the White House) Hillary, where did I put that invitation?
Jethro "learnin' Elly May to ride [his] motorcycle" as Jed is meeting with a prospective new wife. The driving changes hands between Elly, Jethro, and Granny in the same scene, and Granny ends up driving it into the swimming pool.
Woodrow Tyler trying to engage in phone sex with his girlfriend Laura, after she's already managed to con her way into the Clampett estate. She hangs up on him just as he gets going, but right before she does so, Mr. Drysdale phones Tyler on call waiting, and Tyler still thinks he's connected to her. The following exchange happens:
Tyler: Okay, so... I've got my hand on your butt and I'm squeezing. Mr. Drysdale:TYLER![Tyler jumps, startled] Get your hand off my butt.
The elderly hillbilly preacher reading from an ancient Bible while performing the wedding ceremony:
Reverend Mason: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in case of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartment. Your seat cushion can be used as a floatin' device. Thus sayeth the Lord.
Jed Clampett: Excuse me, Reverend, but I believe you're reading the airplane safety instructions.
Jethro wanted to be (in his words) "an astro-nut", so he created his own space suit. We are introduced to the suit as follows, when Jed and Granny are discussing his current obsession:
Jed: That boy ain't got nothin' in his head but space.
Granny: (Chuckling) You can say that again!
Jed: Oh, now, that's not what I meant, let me rephrase it.
Jethro appears, wearing a suit consisting of aluminum foil wrapped randomly around his body, even larger clod-hopper boots than he usually wears also wrapped in foil, a fishbowl on his head, and a television antenna duct-taped to the fishbowl, and walks across the scene.
Jed: You know, I think I'll just let that one stand.
There was a running gag in the show where whenever Pearl began singing, dogs in the neighborhood began howling, and the Clampetts' dog was no exception. When said dog gets out and lost in the neighbourhood, what does Jed do to give Elly some help? Ask Pearl to belt out a number. She's not amused when she figures out why.