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Funny / Suburgatory

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Spoilers Off applies to all Funny pages, so all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned!


  • Dallas deciding to divorce Steven in 'Sex and the Suburbs,' after years of putting up with him cheating on her and leaving her alone for months on end.
    Dallas: This is how you leave a man, Yakult!
  • Tessa's dance at her Sweet Sixteen.
  • Dalia's This Is Unforgivable! speech to Tessa in "Fire with Fire":
    Dalia: You know what’s going to be painful? When my mother remarries your father and I’m your new sister and Dad likes me best. And then we send you away to an all-girls boarding school where you find true love. And on visiting day I come up and steal your new girlfriend.
    (takes a long sip from her cup)
    The following spring we marry in a civil ceremony which you are forced to cater. And everyone hates your catering. And you get a bad review on Yelp, which pretty much sinks your organic lesbian catering venture.
    (takes a long sip from her cup)
  • How Fred imagines Sheila's fantasy.
  • The Tessa vs. Dalia fight, bouncing between Awesome and Funny, as Dalia keeps referring to Tessa as a guy and Tessa resorting to over-the-top wrestling moves.
    • Tessa wins by tearing out Dalia's eyelash implants. Which, honestly, has to hurt.
  • "When your day is dark, a nanny can make it light... by turning on a light. And if you're hungry but you're not in a restaurant, a nanny can call a restaurant and order in. And if you're on a beach, and you only see one set of footprints, it's because your nanny is carrying you. And you know how you suck at guitar? A nanny would pretend like you don't suck at guitar, but I'm not your nanny."
  • George's bafflement at people treating East Chatwin like it's a third-world nation to the point that when it comes out Dallas's house technically is there, she's instantly a pariah. He just stares at people, clearly thinking "It's...the same...town."
  • The fact that Ryan chose 'Eugene Goldfarb' as his new name.
    • Ryan's freakout after finding out he's adopted.
    Ryan: Is this real? (punches parking meter) Ow! It's real!
  • When Dallas decides to binge-watch The X-Files after George compares their relationship to Mulder and Scully. This is the result:
    Dallas: What is wrong with that man? ...kiss her, Mulder, kiss her!

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