- Martian Officer: Sir, the Arcturans have destroyed the remainder of the fleet. I've sent a distress signal to all ships across the galaxy, but we're heading straight into their sun and our engines are about to explode!
Enforcer Drone: I have not yet begun to fight.
Martian Officer: Now would be a great time to start!
- After crashing into Old Man Wrenchmuller's Barn the FIRST time:
Corp. Pez: Who taught you you to drive, ya moron?!Capt. Bipto: Nice landing, Blaznee!Lt. Giggywig: Are we there?!Blaznee: Kids... 3-D and driving JUST DON'T MIX.
- The Martians running away after the "Doughnut of Destruction" suffered an Epic Fail:
Corporal Pez: "Prepare to die, Earth scum. Prepare to die, Earth scum!" I'm gonna make sure they carve that on your tombstone!Lieutenant Giggywig: Ahhhhh, SHUT UP!!!
- Lieutenant Giggywig tries to explain to Captain Bipto that their invasion has failed:
Giggywig: Let me sum up the entire situation in a nutshell: there are five of us, and four billion of them. They have Strategic Air Commands, nuclear powered submarines, and John Wayne. We have this. [holds up a small rifle]Captain Bipto: Is it loaded?Giggywig: Let's find out! [points the rifle at Bipto]
- "But, Dad they're not really bad, they're just... stupid." - Kathy pretty much summing up the movie's plot.