- In the middle of the Martians' Curb-Stomp Battle:
Martian Officer: Sir, the Arcturans have destroyed the remainder of the fleet. I've sent a distress signal to all ships across the galaxy, but we're heading straight into their sun and our engines are about to explode!Enforcer Drone: I have not yet begun to fight.Martian Officer: Now would be a great time to start!
- After crashing into Old Man Wrenchmuller's Barn the FIRST time:
Corp. Pez: Who taught you you to drive, ya moron?!Capt. Bipto: Nice landing, Blaznee!Lt. Giggywig: Are we there?!Blaznee: Kids... 3-D and driving JUST DON'T MIX.
- The Martians running away after the "Doughnut of Destruction" suffered an Epic Fail:
Corporal Pez: "Prepare to die, Earth scum. Prepare to die, Earth scum!" I'm gonna make sure they carve that on your tombstone!Lieutenant Giggywig: Ahhhhh, SHUT UP!!!
- Lieutenant Giggywig tries to explain to Captain Bipto that their invasion has failed:
Giggywig: Let me sum up the entire situation in a nutshell: there are five of us, and four billion of them. They have Strategic Air Commands, nuclear powered submarines, and John Wayne. We have this. [holds up a small rifle]Captain Bipto: Is it loaded?Giggywig: Let's find out! [points the rifle at Bipto]
- "But, Dad they're not really bad, they're just... stupid." - Kathy pretty much summing up the movie's plot.
- Sheriff Hoxly tries to contact Strategic Air Command in order to deal with the Martians. The operator mocks him.
Operator: I'm sorry, sir, there's no such listing [for Strategic Air Command]. I do, however, have an almost unlimited listing for "psychiatrist".
- Deputy Sheriff Russel Pillsbury. He just wanted to impress his parents. See Butt-Monkey on the main page to see how well that turned out.
- Giggywig, Pez, and Ziplock find out about the true nature of The War of the Worlds, Blaznee decides to explain the situation to Brian. Cue all four of them laughing their asses off at the Martians' stupidity while Blaznee gives a disappointed facepalm.
- Wrenchmuller needs a fast ride back to his barn. He decides to steal Klembecker's Caddy and proceeds to drive it through a field to get to his farm faster. Klembecker is forced to drive his devastated Caddy to Wrenchmuller's place the next morning due to Vern destroying his pickup with the Farmzoid.