Funny / Space Cowboys

  • The Running Gag of meeting someone who knew an old peer of theirs, only to learn that person is now deceased.
  • "I'm locked in the garage with a dirty old man!"
  • When Ethan tells Frank he's not a team player, Frank growls (as only Clint Eastwood can), "Get out." His wife then remarks he needs to work on his hospitality.
  • Hawk's low-key "Happy birthday" to the guy who wants a wild airplane ride. During the flight, the guy vomits all over Hawk's dashboard, and profusely apologizes when they land. Hawk initially criticizes him: "Where'd you get the bright idea to eat a big lunch before you come out here and went flying?", but changes his tune when he sees the guy's girlfriend waiting for him: "Congratulations! You earned your wings today, young man. My hat's off to you! Well done!"
  • When Corvin tells Hawk (in recruiting him) he's there to keep a promise:
    Hawk: The promise to kill me, or the promise to have both of my LEGS broke?
    Corvin: No, the...other one....
  • Jerry passing the vision test perfectly, to the astonishment of all...until he whispers that "My perfect!"
    • Also during the eye test, Hawk accidentally reading too much of the eye chart: "M A D, uh, in U.S.A.- oh, "Made in USA"."
  • The Ensure / Baby Food exchange.
  • When Jerry's eating, he fumbles with his dentures, causing a grossed-out Frank to remark, "Damn, Jerry..."
  • When Frank and Hawk compete in the centrifuge:
    Frank: Which one of us passed out first?
    Eugene: I'm gettin' too old for this shit.
  • Frank and Hawk compete over the waitress at a bar:
    Hawk: Would you choose this man, with his asymmetrical sagging ass cheeks, love handles the size of Nebraska and his gross, old, ugly ingrown toenails?
    Frank: Or this hairy-eared son of a bitch with a chicken gizzard neck and a face like Death Valley fire trails?
    • When Clint tells the bar tough, "Go back to your virgin pink daiquiri."
  • When the bar tough tells Frank that he'll "put him in the hospital," Frank's reply is both funny and awesome:
    Frank: Oh yeah? Well I've got Medicare so take your best shot.
  • The USA Today headline: "The Ripe Stuff".
  • The gang's appearance on Leno, especially the moment when Leno asks which of the four is the babe magnet:
    Jerry: I keep telling these guys, it's got nothing to do with me. It depends entirely on the woman, and how willing she is to discover her infinite supply of orgasms.
  • When Frank refuses to dumb it down for his understudy:
    Frank: Look kid, I've done everything short of calculus instructions to bring you up to speed. What do you want, a picture? Connect the dots?
    Ethan: Excuse me. I hold two masters degrees from MIT, Dr. Corvin.
    Frank: Maybe you ought to get your money back.
  • Frank storms into Bob Gerson's office and shuts his laptop. Bob calmly informs him, "Well, now, that's great. You hung up on the head of our program: the vice president of the United States. Now what can I do for you, Frank?"
  • Before launch, the Reverend leads his fellow astronauts in (Alan) Shepard's Prayer: "Lord, please don't let me [screw] up."