Son of Zorn / Funny

Return to Orange County

Zorn is forced to kill the bird he gave to Alan as personal transport and the bird refuses to die after several attempts to kill it. And then Craig has to clean up the blood.
Zorn: The problem with the older ones is that they dont want to die, so they just don't.
Zorn keeps paying for stuff with severed monster hands wearing jeweled rings. This becomes a problem when he tries to deposit one in an ATM by jamming it through the deposit slot.

Zorn making fun of Craig's hobby of bike riding, and comparing it to him and Edie spending months having tantric sex on top of a mountain. Then he mocks Craig's shirt.
Zorns...questionable performance at his new job.
Zorn: *on the phone* Why would you need a hairdryer? Well, lets say you have a sack full of severed hands, but they're all wet from the tears of the children they were holding- No, YOU'RE a psycho!
Zorn talking to Alan about all the women he's hooked up with over his lifetime, all of which are Princesses of some thing or another.
Zorn: Son, all you need to do to get a woman is offer her some corn nuts.
Alan decides to take advantage of Zorn's help after the latter uses the Stone of Sight to help him make the first move on Nancy.
Alan: You're stalking her!
Zorn: No I'm not, I'm just watching her every move!
Alan: THAT'S STALKING!
- After Edie takes the stone and locks it in her safe, Zorn actually does end up stalking her.
Craig apparently loves real estate sales.
Craig: I love going through dead people's things.
Zorn showing his new apartment to Alan.
Zorn: What do you think? I know it looks like a-
Alan: A place where crackheads go to have sex?
- Zorn hasnt really picked up on the subtilities of civilized living. For one thing, he keeps a pile of warm meat in the bathroom sink.

When Craig complains about Zorn ruining his sandcastle and turning everything into a battle, Zorn tells him this is literally the least amount of battle he is capable of and it's killing him.
- Zorn later fires his sand catapult on two little girls building castles, and when they start crying, Zorn claims he missed that sound.
Zorn isn't adapting to white collar work very well, and he ends up starting a war with the office across the hall for stealing their hot sauce.
Zorn attempts to stealthy spy on the enemy via the air ducts but a) he's too muscular to fit comfortably, and b) it turns out his sword is sticking out through the ceiling and carving a path as he crawls.
Craig's embarassing anti-bullying tactic, which involves lying on your back and flailing with his limbs like a scared turtle.
Zorn goes on a tirade about Zephyrian stereotypes towards his co-worker Todd when asked to open a jar of pickles before failing in it himself and asking another Asian co-worker to "use [her] karate" instead.

At the megamart, Zorn claims that he knows how to look after Alan when he stays over. His cart is full of nothing but vodka and chainsaws.
Craig mentioning that he plays Blood Soldiers to observe human behavior. He later says "DIE! DIE! DIE!" while playing with Alan.

Craig's story of why he fears Santa Claus, which is told over childhood drawings and cheerful Christmas music.

After Zorn gets his wedding invite to Craig and Edie's wedding and finds out it dosen't have a plus one.
Zorn: Well I guess I know what I gotta do today.
Alan: Overeact to an imagined slight?
Zorn: Don't be sily Alangulon. Zorn is going to get his plus one! (Zorn's theme plays as he tries to do crunches on his above door exercise machine.. and instead brings it down on himself.)