- "Chris and that Polish girl... they got out of the car at hospital, right?" "...Yeah. Yeah, I think so, yeah."
- The glue factory scene in the Russia episode.
Translator: First, we break legs...
- "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING FLATCHESTED, COCKSUCKING, SPASTIC HORSEFUCKER!"
- In Chris' S2 episode, he is asked by his career guidance counseller to avoid swear words.
Chris: So I told him he was a pitty boss and a pastard, and he could pucking shove his pucked polo up his packside! Stupid prick!Josie: I think one slipped through there Chris...Chris: Stupid punt...
Just a teeny note, that won't work with houses.
- For a job interview, Chris is asked to sell a mug of tea to the interviewer. His method is to light the man's tie on fire.
- James Fitch's glorious announcement of what is inside Emily's secret box.
"FANNIES! It's full of fannies!"
- Let's also not forget James' total awesomeness during Katie and Emily's S3 episode when he walks in on Katie changing.
"Whoa, you're naked, BITCH!"
- James again:
"Mrs McPherson says as long as swearing's used in context, it's fucking A."
- Effy's father to her mother:
"Don't you DARE use cunt and Oxfam in the same sentence!"
- Cook and JJ try to crash a party:
Cook: Did we invite Freddie?JJ: NoCook: And why didn't we invite him?JJ: Because he's a fun sponge?Cook: You got it
- This exchange from Emily's season 4 episode:
Emily: "Fake tan, fake boyfriend, fake concern."Katie: "I am concerned... BITCH!"
- After Franky asks Mini and co to just start something or fuck off, because she's had enough shit already:
Grace: Ooh, like, before Bristol or before? 'Cause I had a dream last night that I was like a slave, and I was working on a plantation-Mini and Liv: Shut up, Grace.
- The series 5 finale:
Nick: Leave me to the bears!Alo: We're in Somerset!Nick: To the squirrels, then!
Mini: Hi! Have you by any chance seen, erm, two girls and a boy?Old man: Bugger off!Mini: Er, rudeness!
- The whole scene where Mini is looking for Franky, Liv and Matty.
- "David Fucking Blood!" Made even funnier by Sean Teale and Will Merrick's delivery.
- Rich's attempt at chatting up the "Angel of Death" in his S5 episode.