Funny / Raising Arizona

• H.I.'s last parole hearing:
  Board Member #1: "You're not just telling us what we want to hear, are you, H.I.?"
  H.I.: "No, sir."
  Board Member #2: "'Cuz we just wanna hear the truth."
  H.I.: "Well, then I guess I am telling you what you wanna hear."
  Board Member #1: "Boy, didn't we just ask you not to do that?"
  H.I.: "Yes, sir."
  Board Member #1: *Beat* "Okay, then."
• Gale and Evelle robbing the rural bank:
  Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up! Everybody freeze! Everybody down on the ground!
  *Beat as no one moves*
  Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...
  Gale: *glares with the perfect "Are you fucking kidding me?" look on his face* ...SHUT UP!!
  Hayseed: Okay, then.
• Gale and Evelle when they realize they've left Nathan behind...and, about ten minutes later, when they realize they've done it again.
• Also their escape from prison.
• "You're crazy! I PITY YOOOOU-" *smack!*
• "I'll pitch my voice wherever I PLEASE!!"
• The police-chase scene after H.I. gets busted for stealing Huggies, complete with dogs joining in and the participants running through random people's homes.
• "Nathan Junior accepts me for who I am!" Coupled with Ed's utterly baffled look.
• The fight between H.I. and Gayle in that tiny trailer
• "Son, you got a panty on your head."
  • "You just drive, fast." The hayseed then floors it, nearly speeding off without H.I.
• "Ray! You take that diaper off your head and you put it back onto your sister!" You can see Holly Hunter trying to suppress a laugh at this line.
• The increasingly-battered copy of Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care that follows Nathan Jr. wherever he goes.
  • "Here's the instructions."
• Evelle wants to buy balloons for Nathan Jr.:
  Evelle: These blow up into them funny shapes and all?
  Clerk: Well, no. Unless round is funny.
  • Which is immediately given a Call-Back in the next scene:
    Evelle: "Got me a packet a' balloons."
    Gale: "Hey, they blow up in them funny shapes?"
    Evelle: "Naw; just circular."
• "...Seven-hundred ninety-two Mississippi, Seven-hundred ninety-one Mississippi... Aw, bullshit!" (cue Oh, Crap! moment when he sees them coming back, and resumes counting.)
• "Just lay down on the floor, little missy!"
• "Maybe it was Utah..."
• The "starter home in suburban Tempe" which turns out to be a trailer in the middle of the desert.
• "Would you shop at a store called unpainted Huffhines?"
  • Nathan Sr. is a gold mine of cranky hilarity:
    FBI Agent: "What was the child wearing?"
    Nathan Sr.: "A dinner jacket. What'd ya think? He was wearing his damn jammies!"
    Other Agent: "Sir, can you describe the jammies?"
    Nathan Sr.: "I don't know, they were jammies; they had Yodas and shit on 'em!!"

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