Funny / Pain & Gain

• "Snatch that cabbage patch!"
  • "I'm going to headbutt you and knock you out, okay?"
• "When I get to Heaven, I'm gonna tell Jesus what you did!"
• "He's having Shabbat!"
• "I thought your friend stored athletic equipment here. Because I am looking at a lot of homo stuff right now,"
• "He should be ejected from thith fathility!"
• "Don't eyeball me, boy. I see your mother driving up and down the street looking at me. I'll be your stepfather by the weekend."
• "What do we do now?" "Star Sixty-Nine him!" "...You want me to have sex with him?" "Press the star key, press the six, and PRESS THE NINE!"
• Paul giving Griga's dog his severed toe.
  • Also Paul barbecuing the severed hands outside on the grill and cheerfully waving to a woman while the graphic "this is still a true story" appears onscreen.
    • That one's even funnier if you recognize the Actor Allusion. Wonder if they could smell what the Rock was cooking?
• Paul convincing the store owner that he worked with Stryper
  Daniel: And people say Christian rock sucks.
  beat
  Store Owner: Who says that?
  Paul: Yeah, who?
  Daniel: Uh... Assholes, that's who!
• Lugo and Doorbal trying to return a chainsaw to Home Depot after it gets caught in one of the victims hair. And yes, this DID happen in real life.
• As the verdicts for the four are being read out at the end of the film, Lugo's reads "SENTENCED TO DEATH (PLUS THIRTY DAYS FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE TO A GUARD)"
• Paul, after knocking out Victor when he tried to escape, gave this gem:
  Paul: Why'd you make me do that to you, Victor? I have responsibilities! Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts! One of them is knocking someone the fuck out!
• (Grabs axe) "I'm going old school."
• "Baby booties? Asshole!"
• Doorbal's wife chewing him out about his small penis in court.
  • "That lady's a whore. Yeah you, you fucking bitch."
• There's something about the way Ed Harris plays Ed Du Bois that will make you chuckle: a man looking to enjoy impending retirement is being dragged into a case where he is the Only Sane Man in perhaps the most literal example of this trope. That, and a Deadpan Snarker.

---