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Funny: Pain and Gain
  • "Snatch that cabbage patch!"
    • "I'm going to headbutt you and knock you out, okay?"
  • "Don't eyeball me, boy. I see your mother driving up and down the street looking at me. I'll be your stepfather by the weekend."
  • Paul giving Griga's dog his severed toe.
    • Also Paul barbecuing the severed hands outside on the grill and cheerfully waving to a woman while the graphic "this is still a true story" appears onscreen.
  • Paul knocking out Kershaw when he tries to escape.
    “Jesus Christ has given me thousands of gifts; one of them is being able to knock people the fuck out.”
  • Paul convincing the store owner that he worked with Stryper
    Daniel: And people say Christian rock sucks.
    Store Owner: Who says that?
    Paul: Yeah, who?
    Daniel: Uh... Assholes, that's who!
  • Lugo and Doorbal trying to return a chainsaw to Home Depot after it gets caught in one of the victims hair. And yes, this DID happen in real life.
  • As the verdicts for the four are being read out at the end of the film, Lugo's reads "SENTENCED TO DEATH (PLUS THIRTY DAYS FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE TO A GUARD)"
  • Paul, after knocking out Victor when he tried to escape, gave this gem:
    Paul: Why'd you make me do that to you, Victor? I have responsibilities! Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts! One of them is knocking someone the fuck out!

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