Funny / Only Fools and Horses

  • The scene in a nightclub where Del starts to chatup two women. Del walks back to his table and finishes his drink quickly.
Del: Drink up Rodders, we're leaving.
Rodney: You are amazing. What are they like, they a couple of ravers?
Del: No, they're a couple of geezers.
(The women turn around, revealing themselfes to be transvestites. Del and Rodney leave the nightclub looking horrified. They end up in another nightclub.)
Rodney: I said I was sorry.
Del: Oh shut up Rodders, I'm warning you, if anyone finds out about this, I'll kill you.
Rodney: Whose going to know? I mean I'm hardlys going to brag I saw you chatting up two blokes in drag.
  • The Batman and Robin scene. Brief summary: Del Boy and Rodney are going to a fancy dress party as Batman and Robin, but their three-wheeled van breaks down en route. As they're in a rough part of London they decide to run to their destination through the back alleys so as not to draw attention to themselves. Cut to a female councillor being mugged in a car park, until the Batman theme plays on the soundtrack and Batman and Robin come charging out of the fog. The muggers scatter.
    • They then proceed to enter the house, going "Na-na-na-na", spray silly string- and discover that the party is now actually a wake, with all attending in funeral wear.
    • This sequence may actually cross over into Crowning Moment of Awesome territory, especially when they try to apologize to the man's son only to be confronted with "Don't be [sorry]. I'm sure the old man is up there right now, having a bloody good laugh at us all."
      Del Boy: Boycie's come as the Penguin!
      Boycie: More like... the Joker.
  • The bar scene. Del Boy and Trigger are in a pub, checking out some chicks. Del Boy takes his hand off the bar-flap, which he'd been leaning on, to slick back his hair and the barman lifts up the bar-flap to go through... and leaves it up. Del Boy goes to lean back on the bar... and keeps on falling. Fwump. Trigger looks back to where he had been standing... where's he gone? Looks around a bit more, Del Boy gets back to his feet covered in his drink.
    • Followed by this exchange;
    Del: Drink up Trig, drink up, we're leaving!
    Trigger: Aint you gonna try it for them birds?
    Del: Nah, nah, you're cramping my style, mate, you're cramping my style!
  • The chandelier scene. Del Boy has conned a Lord of the Realm into believing that the Trotters are expert chandelier cleaners and restorers who can service the two priceless chandeliers in their hallway (in reality, Del plans to use Windolene and super glue to clean and restore the chandeliers they have been commissioned to service), and with the Lord and Lady of the house away in the country and the butler busy in the garage, they are left unsupervised, Del Boy and Rodney waiting under one of the chandeliers on ladders holding an old bedsheet while Grandad is upstairs unfastening the nut and bolt holding the chandelier to the joist in the ceiling. Once he has finished unfastening the nut, Del Boy and Rodney brace themselves as Grandad taps the bolt with a hammer... and the other chandelier crashes to the floor. The irate butler, upon discovering the shattered chandelier, vows to telephone His Lordship; Del Boy establishes that he does not have their address or home phone number, and promptly leads the other Trotters in a hasty retreat.
  • Upon taking delivery of a consignment of aerodynamic cycle helmets that were actually horse-riding hats spray-painted red, Del Boy sees an opportunity when he learns that Sikh motorcyclists are excused having to wear crash helmets because of their religiously-mandated turbans. He invents the "crash turban", the prototype of which consists of an aerodynamic cycle helmet with one of Raquel's scarves mounted on the top. Modelled by a very unhappy Rodney.
  • Pretty much the entirety of the episode "And the Unlucky Winner Is ..." where Rodney wins a painting competition. He wins in an under-fifteen division and has to pose, much to his chagrin, as a fourteen-year-old. Memorable scenes come when Rodney clumps back in after skateboarding, kitted out in safety gear, and when the tour guides try to inform Rodney of the disco, which necessitates some very fast manoeuvring and the transferring of Rodney's cigarette and (alcoholic) drink to Del. Need I say more?
  • Damian: Uncle Rodney, when I grow up, will people still wear baseball caps?
    Rodney: [Completely deadpan] When you grow up, Damian, people will wear what you tell them to wear.
  • A combination of Heartwarming, Tear Jerker and Funny. During Grandad's funeral, Del places Grandad's iconic hat into the grave before warning the gravediggers to shovel the dirt gently... as the Trotter's leave, we then hear the Vicar ask if anyone's seen his hat.
  • Uncle Albert failing to understand that Raquel's real name is "Rachel", leading to him annoying everyone by asking, "Who's Rachel?"
  • Grandad trying to watch The Dukes of Hazzard... on a microwave.
  • In Rock and Chips, Freddie Robdul's grin at the end of the pilot episode.
  • Rodney and Cassandra are having a bit of fun in bed, when Rodney turns round and sees little Damien standing there, watching.
    Cassandra: *bewildered* He just wandered in...
    Rodney: *barely repressed panic* "Wandered in"? Cassandra, I locked the door. *cue Omen theme music*
  • Pretty much the entirety of the episode "Danger UXD", where Del is given a delivery of self-inflating sex dolls by Denzil, only for them to be revealed to be loaded with propane, which destroyed the factory where the dolls originally came from.
    • Denzil is at a Chinese restaurant picking up a takeaway when he sees the news on TV and learns about the deadly nature of the dolls, causing him to run off to warn Del without taking his food.
    Restaurant Owner: *as Denzil runs off* Your food is ready! *to the next customer* Usually, they take the food and run off without paying! This guy's got it all wrong.
    • Del, Rodney and Albert's reactions to the dolls suddenly inflating is priceless, as they frantically reach for the front door.
    Del: Alright Rodney, what's happening?!
    Rodney: How should I know?!
    Del: You're the one with the GC Es!
    Albert: It's come alive! That's what's happened!
    Rodney: Come alive?! What do you think this is, Albert? Pinocchio?
    Albert: No, I've seen this happen before. Years ago, I was in Jamaica and I watched a voodoo ceremony. This witch doctor ran his hands over a dead cat and it come back to life!
    *Del and Rodney stare in disbelief*
    Del: I wish he lived round here. He could have a go at my VCR!
    • They later sneak the dolls out to take to an acquaintance of Del's who runs a sex shop, and disguise them using their late mother's clothes.
    • When Rodney learns the truth about the dolls from Cassandra, who saw it on the news, he later meets up with Del to get rid of them. They dump them at a nearby ditch where a group of homeless men watch them with surprise. They then suddenly realize the dolls are STILL wearing their mother's old clothing and they try to get it back, only for the dolls to explode.
    Del: *to the homeless men* I told them not to have the mutton vindaloo!