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  • Bond is able to play on Fatima's ego that "she was the best he'd ever slept with", tricking her into letting him write out a confession... using the gun-pen Q gave him earlier.
    Bond: I just remembered, it's against Company policy to give endorsements.
    Fatima: WRITE!!!
  • The bit about "free radicals":
    • M sends Bond to the Shrublands spa to get back in fighting trim, using the phrase "eliminate free radicals" (meaning poor eating habits leading to unpaired electrons that can damage cells and DNA).
      Moneypenny: Have you got a mission, James?
      Bond: Yes. I am to eliminate all free radicals.
      Moneypenny: Oh! Do be careful!
    • And later, as M is chewing out Bond after Lippe demolishes Shrublands:
      Bond: Not at all, sir. In fact, I lost four pounds and God knows how many free radicals.
      M: That is the kind of attitude that tempts me to suspend you, 007!
      • Also somewhat amusing, immediately before the above outburst, M leaps to conclusions re: the motive behind Lippe's attack on James:
        Bond: The man did try to kill me.
        M: Oh? Caught you seducing his wife, did he?
  • Small-Fawcett doing his best to operate as covertly as possible... by shouting Bond's name across half of the Caribbean.
  • The cheerful way the automated missile system deploys two nuclear warheads by saying "Have a nice day!"
  • Bond throwing liquid in an assassin's face on instinct only to see the man scream, slam blindly into a large shelf of medical glassware and needles, and die. Bond looks at what the hell it is and finds out it's his own urine sample.
  • The oversized video game Largo designed. Yes, it hasn't aged very well. But the funny bit is seeing how the countries are valued. Pretty sure Spain would enjoy being valued at $9000...
  • Bond forces a Mook at Largo's party note  to hold a small metal case claiming it has a motion-sensitive bomb inside. As Bond leaves the party, the poor Mook is on the floor, sweating, still holding that metal case as steady as possible. Bond takes it from him and reveals it was his comb case. Said Mook nearly faints with relief.
  • Bond assuming everything Algernon has is a spy device.
    James: What is this for?
    Algernon: I'll show you. You unscrew it... then stick it up your nose. (sniffs deeply) For my sinus.note 

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