- "Addison, my God!" "Isn't that redundant?"
- "That man belongs in a pound..." "Pound of what?" *Maddie-glare*
- "You're a wanton woman! A woman who's wantin'!"
- The Dr. Seuss bit from "The Murder's In The Mail":
David: "We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose."Maitre'D: "Mole on his nose?"Maddie: "A mole on his nose!"Maitre'D: "What kind of clothes?"Maddie: (to David) "What kind of clothes...?"David: (to Maitre'D) "What kind of clothes do you suppose?"Maitre'D: "What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?"David: "Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose, this man that we're seeking with a mole on his nose?/I'm not sure of his clothes or anything else except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself."Maddie: "How do you do that?"David: "I got to read a lot of Dr. Seuss."Maitre'D: "I'm sorry to say, I'm sad to report, I haven't seen anyone at all of that sort./Not a man who's Chinese with a mole on his nose with some kind of clothes that you can't suppose./SO...get away from this door and get out of this place/Or I'll have to hurt you...put my foot in your face."David: "Oh..!"Maddie: "Time to go!"David: "Time to go!" *hasty exit*
- David-as-Petruchio in "Atomic Shakespeare," particularly his first line:
David-as-Petruchio (to a buxom village girl): "ZOUNDS! What MOUNDS!"
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