Funny / Metro Exodus

• During the introduction, Artyom gets greeted by fellow Spartan Rangers. Alyosha remarks that with a few more scars, he'll be irresistible to any woman...with Anna standing literally right next to him.
• When Sam is asked what a NATO base would look like, he states that they should look out for a Humongous Mecha decked out in an American Flag, with a nuclear reactor shoved up its ass.
• A Conversation can be overheard between two caravan guards about how another one tried to catch a giant mutant fish with a roasted dog strapped to an anchor, which was used as a giant fishing rod. This is apparently common practice.
• In the Volga, the rangers overhear a group of bandits playing guitar. Apparently, their playing is so awful that Stepan wants to steal the guitar from them, just so they can't play anymore. He or Idiot will actually send you on a mission to "liberate" the guitar.
• In the Caspian level, every time the Baron broadcasts over the radio, one of his underlings starts the broadcast with a warning to listen up. As the level goes on (and the Rangers cause him more and more problems) the Baron gets less and less patient and eventually just tells him to knock it off.
• Near the beginning of the mission to rescue Giul in the Caspian, in which you infiltrate underground tunnels, you can overhear thugs getting subject to Giul's deadly traps, complete with many dead or dying by the time you get there. However, one group of thugs you overhear has one complaining about a fellow bandit smoking, and you turn the corner to witness the entire group on fire.
• Miller's odd near-joy at going underground in Novosibirsk, because after everything they've had to put up with on the surface, he and Artyom are "in their element" in the Metro. He's had to deal with so much, radiation and claustrophobic, mutant-infested tunnels at least are familiar!
• During the Sam's Story DLC, Sam and Captain weather out a storm in one of the Captains safe houses. After fixing the Captains leg what occurs next is absolute hilarity. They both proceed to get drunk Molotov Cocktails which is stated to be made out of moonshine and fish oil. First the captain recounts a funny story of his command crew while fixing a generator, then they hear music and spot a bandit patrol from a top their building. They proceed to rob the patrol of its tape player and have it play throughout the night as they get progressively drunker. Further antics include pissing off the end of a building, spotting a mutant that reached their roof top killing it with a broken bottle, getting so drunk that the Captain mistakes that mutant for Sam, and finally passing out on mattress. Sam wakes up the next morning thinking he's gone blind to which the Captain points out he's just face down.
  • Shortly after this, you can run into a pair of brothers who, twenty-three years after the nuclear war, are still feuding over the ownership of a car dealership. Both have written graffiti accusing the other of being a backstabber all over their homes, and one is locked inside a barn. In a truck. With the motor running. These two are both not the brightest, because they each have the same code for 'their half' of a safe code: 1234. Agreeing to get the documents for both brothers results in the reveal that their accountant actually stole everything, and leads to them dramatically reconciling.