- One time Joan's phone rings with stirring, inspirational music, like what would announce the arrival of a king...she looks at the caller ID and it clearly says "GOD."
Joan: Haha, very funny!God: I thought so.
- Before Joan believes she's actually talking to God, she's skeptical.
God: Okay...how about that?Joan: ...that's a tree.God: Let's see you make one.
- From the pilot:
Luke: What you do is you shoot these photons at this piece of paper-Joan: There's a pervert in the yard!Luke: -and a pervert appears in the yard!
- "Wealth of Nations"
Adam: You stole from the homeless?!Joan: I know I'm a terrible person.Adam: Yeah!Joan: Well, you weren't supposed to say that!
- "Thanks for leaving a message with my father the rabbi saying you wanted to spend the night with me building a gun!"
- "Don't scare the cripple! My fight or flight impulse is very confused!"
- God appears in the form of twin girls...
Joan: I thought we were going with monotheism.God Girls: I'm impressed you know what that is.
- The increasingly flustered state of the priest in the parking lot who Helen keeps demanding answers for the eternal questions from, especially since he's clearly trying his hardest to provide comfort and council under less than optimal circumstances.
Helen: Why do I never feel better after talking to you?Priest: (miserably) I don't know.