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Funny: How TV Ruined Your Life

  • Brooker's tirade against unqualified celebrities hosting documentaries:
    Charlie Brooker: "One consistent thumbprint of 'expertainment' is to confuse fictional characters with the actors that portray them. So, because he played a vet in African-based 'Wild at Heart', ITV thought it would be a good idea to send Stephen Tompkinson animal mending round Africa. In fact, even Tompkinson seems to have forgotten he's an actor.
    Stephen Tompkinson: (voiceover) "My journey begins in Tanzania, on Africa's east coast, where I'll test my veterinary expertise with some of the hardest working vets in the world."
    • Which in turn leads to the spoof documentary, David Mitchell's Rave Britannia:
    David Mitchell: "I've always been passionate about Rave culture, and I'm on a very personal journey to discover the roots of this fascinating scene and its diverse yet controversial musical legacy."
  • Brooker examines a house built on Grand Designs, and gets increasingly irritated in order to demonstrate how these programmes can make you feel bad about your own house. Eventually, he's furious.
    "That's a nice fireplace. What a wonderfully huge kitchen. Oh, I love the way the windows let the light into their lovely house. Oh, they've got a pool. OH, YOU'VE GOT A FUCKING POOL!"
  • Him calling P Diddy a "massive swaggering twat" in the "Aspiration" episode.
  • Also from the "Aspiration" episode, his reaction to somebody getting a high valuation on their goods on Antiques Roadshow being (in a tone dripping with sarcasm and condescension) "Ooh, someone's going to buy a jet ski and ride and it round and round like P Diddy".