Adelaide and Nathan discussing their relationship, and the lies Adelaide's been telling her mother about it:
Nathan: Of course we'll get married, sooner or later.
Adelaide: Nathan, after fourteen years it's already too late to be 'sooner', and if it gets much later, soon it'll be too late to even be 'later'. Besides, I don't know what to do anymore about Mother.
Nathan: Mother? What about your mother?
Adelaide: There is something I haven't told you ... but my mother, back in Rhode Island, she thinks that we're ... that we're already married.
Nathan: How could she think such a thing?
Adelaide: Maybe because I wrote to her that we were already married.
Nathan: That would make her think so.
Adelaide: Well, in Rhode Island, people do not stay engaged for fourteen years, they get married!
Nathan: So how come it's such a small state?
Adelaide: Futhermore, after about two years ... after about two years, we -
Nathan: We got a divorce?
Adelaide: We had a baby.
Nathan: You wrote your mother we had a baby?
Adelaide: Well, I had to, Nathan. Mother kept after me and after me and finally I just ran out of excuses.
Nathan: What type of baby was it?
Adelaide: It was a boy. I named it after you, Nathan.
Nathan: Thank you.
Adelaide: You're welcome.
Nathan: So tell me, what has Nathan Junior been up to all these years?
Adelaide: Well, right now he's in boarding school. As a matter of fact, I wrote Mother that he won the football game last Saturday.
Nathan: Wish I'd had a bet on it.
Adelaide: But Nathan ... That isn't all.
Nathan: You're not going to say we also have an Adelaide Junior?
Adelaide: ... All these years, Nathan. Mother believes in big families, and, and we had such an early start.
Nathan: Just give me the grand total.
Adelaide: ... Five.
Nathan: Adelaide! How could you do this to a nice old broad like your mother?!
Adelaide: Nathan, you don't even know my mother!
Nathan: But I'll be meeting her soon, and what'll I tell her I did with the five kids? Traded them to the Phillies?