- This exchange:
Judas: Even the doggy-doggies used to come to Lazarus and lick his open, running sores.Jerry: Blech!Judas: Sorry.
- This exchange:
Judas: Now what the Good Master is telling us all right now is that up in Heaven, there are about a hundred million little tiny angels about 'yea' by 'yea', and they all take shorthand. And every time you do something silly, they write it in a...Jesus: No, no.Judas: That's not what the Good Master is telling us.
- This line has become sort of a Memetic Mutation:
Jesus: Did I ever tell you I used to read feet?Jeffrey: You used to... what?Jesus: Some people read palms or tea leaves. I read feet. Look what it says! (lifts Jeffrey's foot) Ah hah! It says "Rejoice."Jeffrey: (looking for himself, disappointed) It says "Keds."
- Another popular option is for whoever is playing Jeffrey to say "no, it says Reebok".
- I've only seen the show once, so if anyone knows the lines, please feel free to add them. After Jesus said the "give them your coat too" line, somebody responds with a monologue about "What kind of coat is it?" then lists a bunch of things like "Does it zip?...Does it have a pocket in the front?" then, "Is it a hoodie? Because you should only wear a hoodie when it's [lists a bunch of unlikely circumstances like on the third day of the third month every nine years... when it's somebody's birthday in Alaska.])" When another cast member comments that her process is complicated, she responds by saying something about Simplicity.
- When one of the disciples keeps dancing after "All For The Best" ends and doesn't stop until Jesus points out that the song is over.
- When the Disciples start fighting each other, it devolves quickly into a slapstick farce. Jesus finally ends it with an eye-rolling Death Glare and an annoyed, "HELLLLOOOOOOOO????"
- Upon hearing the teaching to turn the other cheek:
John/Judas: Aw, Jesus Chró" (another apostle shuts him up)Jesus and apostles: Slooowly I turned...