Funny / Gladiator

  • The Colosseum announcer's wig. That is all.
    • His eyebrows too.
  • When Maximus is looking at the dolls of his wife and son. Juba approaches and asks what he is telling them.
    Maximus: To my son, keep your back straight when he's riding his horse. To my wife..... that is none of your business.
  • "You sold me... queer giraffes."
  • Proximo to his caravan: "Come on! How long does it take to get into my own house!"
  • When Maximus is served his daily gruel after revealing himself, he sits down with his friends, who wordlessly advise him against eating it. Hagen, the big German, offers to test it, and immediately begins choking... and then breaks down into laughter.
  • During the reenactment of the Battle of Carthage, when Maximus gets a sword and twirls it around, Commodus goes "whoo hoo" while waving his hands and head about.
    • His reaction after the battle, in which the "Barbarian Horde" utterly trounced the "Roman Legionaries":
    Commodus: My history's a little hazy Cassius, but shouldn't the barbarians lose the Battle of Carthage?
  • Commodus' leer at Maximus being branded 'Maximus the Merciful' following his fight with Tigris quickly becoming the source of another tantrum when the crowd embraces this act from the hero.