- "You sound like you're from LAHN-DUHN!"
- Peter's Anti-Love Song (for himself):
Peter: Everybody hates you/Everybody wishes that you were dead/Peter, you suck/Peter, you suck/Peter your music is fucking terrible/Peter, you suck/Peter, you suck/You don't do anything of value/Peter, you suck/Go write some music/But instead you sit and write these bullshit songs/It's so self-loathing/Go see a psychiatrist/I hate the psychiatrist/Go see one anyway. (I'M NOT GOING!)
- "You shall not pass!"
- Dracula. Puppet. Musical.
- "BLOOD WILL RUN DOWN HIS FACE WHEN HE IS DECAPITATED! AH HA HAH!"
- "I'm pregnant!"
- "I don't know Peter, JUST GET OFF THE FUCKING ROCK!"
- The "sex-off" between the two couples.
Peter: SHE'S HAVING AN ORGASM! AND I'M NOT DONE EITHER!
- When the weather outside is weather...
- "Mmm...Mmm...Mmmm...I just came."
- Get a good look at the demo CD that Jonah Hill gives Aldous. It's got pictures of his face all over it.
- Hell, just about any scene with Jonah Hill in it counts.
- Aldous doesn't like his shirt.
- "We're going snorkeling! It's sea-turtle fucking season! They fuck for 3 hours! That's magic! No-one wants to go snorkeling with me..."
- Peter crying hysterically whilst gazing at the magnificent Hawaiian sunset. His neighbours complain and mistake him for a woman.
- "Are those sad tissues, or happy tissues?"